Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Oprahcat Loses/Gains 900th Pound Since 1985, Is Saddened

Chicago, IL

Well known talk show host Oprahcat has lost her 900th and final pound and says she is saddened about the battle she has publicly waged on TV and in the media throughout the years. "I don't know what has happened to me" Oprahcat said this past Monday from her Chicago home "I look at old photos of me and I can't believe all the weight I have lost and gained back."

Seen below in 1985 after a well documented TV diet, she said then that she 'carried french fries everywhere I went, but all that is over...now I carry a person trainer instead.' In 1985 she famously dieted to a trim 135 pounds and is now in tears over her estimated 200 pound frame.

Oprahcat said recently that she is giving up the fight and is ready to have gastric bypass surgery to help her with her weight problem. She has spoken to many friends and colleagues as to the outcomes of the surgery and is ready.

She told reporters she wants to look hot for Obamacat's upcoming Presidential inauguration. "I can't help but feel that I got him elected...and I want to look great and be next to him when he takes over." Oprahcat stated.

Gastric bypass surgery is no instant cure-all for people with weight problems, it simply makes the stomach smaller and a person who overeats develops feelings of extreme nausea as a result.

It is not a certainty that Oprahcat could be svelt enough to ever please herself, but we the public love her just as she is.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

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