Thursday, January 29, 2009

Obama Renews Pledge "Yes, You Can Has Cheezburger" As Cheezburger Stimulus Package Passes House


Washington, DC

As the Kitty City Gazette previously reported, President Obama promised us he would bring change to Washington and he has, not just in the political arena, but in the new, relaxed, candor he communicates as well.

Lunch today after the passing in the House of the Cheezburger Stimulus package was celebrated with, what else? Cheezburgers. It has become a sort of subliminal message to cats everywhere. Cheezburgers show symbolically that Mr. Obama is looking out for every cat, renewing his promise that "Yes, you can has cheezburger."

Mr. Obama has only been president a little over eight days, but his promise to bring cheezburger reform to cats everywhere is being honored and indeed celebrated in the White House.

Through the many years, there are many traditions still held sacred within the White House. Mr. Obama has decidedly maintained the longstanding presidential tradition of weekly lunches with his vice president, Mr. Joe Biden. Today, lunch meant a cheezeburger, served medium-rare, in his small dining area off the Oval Office.


The President likes his cheezburgers done medium-well, and not necessarily on a plate

The two men discussed the success of the Cheezburger Stimulus package. In it, several things vital to cats are made clear. First, that cats receiving unemployment could receive benefits longer with a proposed extension, a tax cut is possible for qualifying families to jump start the economy and hopefully allow them more access to cheezburgers, and there is a proposal to reimburse cats for expenses accrued for worker retraining.


President Obama said the economy is "...sick."

"The economy is very sick," President Obama said between bites. "The situation is getting worse. We have to act and act now to break the momentum of this horrible cheezburger recession."

It was a very relaxed day full of politics and cheezburgers. A very different White House indeed. Of Mr. Obama, one of his lunch guests, retired Rear Adm. John D. Hutson stated “He looked around and said, ‘I’ve got to do something about these plates. I’m not really a plates kind of guy.’ ”

Despite the feel-good atmosphere, tough topics were discussed at long length. There are now more than 10.3 million cats and kittens out of work, leaving them to always have to humbly ask ‘I can has cheezburger?’ The fundamental solution proposed by Mr. Obama is to get the Stimulus package through the Senate and to ensure that every cat can and will has cheezburger(s).


Vice-President Joe Biden has long been a supporter of Cheezburger Reform

There are now, however, many angry statements and questions coming from the Senate, including the vocal Maverick John McCain, who earlier stated that he would not vote yes on a stimulus package that did not include provisions for Hot Dog reform.

The Cheezburger Stimulus package was presented by Democrats as a responsible government action, set upon at a time when government intervention is desperately needed, and every single Republican in the House voted against it.


Lois said he greedy bosses would fire her if it came down to the cost of a new Cadillac or her keeping her job

His views are echoed by many other cats in the minority. Lois, a 7-year-old, Calico secretary cat, who works in the area of the National Mall, is a staunch Republican. Lois said “There need to be more tax cuts for the wealthy. Business owners and stuff...” Lois said, “My boss wants a new Cadillac SUV and if he doesn’t get it, there’ll be hell to pay. He's not gonna start driving a Ford so he can still afford to pay me...it could cost me my job.”

Lois said that the men she work for care more for themselves and their own material things than for the well-being of the workers. “If you hurt them, greedy jerks or not, you inadvertently hurt me, too. They can only spend the money once.”


Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

7 comments:

GRATEFUL said...

YOU MADE MY DAY OH MY GOD I AM JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE TO GO HOME AND HAD THE WORST DAY EVER IN THE HISTORY OF WORKING AND I JUST FOUND THIS AND IT IS SO FUNNY AND NOW IM LAUGHING AND LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE AND THANK GOS FOR YOU AND NOW I CAN GO HOME AND BE HAPPY.

KTHXBAI!

NormanJCrook said...

Love it, this Obama-Cheezburger thing is getting big and the pic you make are wonderful. =)

Anonymous said...

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notwatchingstuporbowl said...

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Hey Kitty City, someone submitted this to reddit and im so very very glad. Your sense of humor is so great with cats. Do you write anything else?? All the lolcats rejoice! Other people love this stuff you write. Keep it up, I am a fan and hope you write another story for Sunday!

notwatchingstuporbowl said...

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ShesInControl said...

This is great, need to come back here when I have more time, my daughter is kicking me off the Mac as we speak...

StimulusFan said...

Love this, i Stumbledit!!!