Sunday, January 4, 2009

College Cat Latest Victim Of Catnip Abuse


Seattle, WA

The story started out as a good one,'Local Cat Makes Good' were the headlines for a local teencat, known affectionately as Tabby, upon his graduation from Kamiak High School in the Spring of 2008.

Tabby was by all accounts special. A pedigreed, neutered, American Tabby, he graduated first in the class. He was the cat with the best grades, and in the fall he went on to Washington State University on a Merit Scholarship to pursue a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. There, he became president of the Future Nurses of America's Washington Chapter, the Latin Club, and Phi Beta Kappa. What happened next was not expected.

At WSU, Tabby was allowed the kind of freedom he had never known. "His parents never even let him pee outside" said Bandit, a 4-year-old calico friend "they were very strict...always had to use the litterbox, always."

Tabby was assigned a dorm in the freshman hall and began to stay up late with other students, sometimes studying all night long, giggling, crying in the library, or eating cheezburgers in the rooms of his friends.

"We began to see a change in Tabby come finals time," his momcat LaRene said, "he'd come home, his eyes like pinpricks...you could tell he was doing catnip."

LaRene said that she and Phillip, his dadcat, never thought that they needed to give Tabby what they call "the drug talk" because he seemed such a great cat with a great head on his shoulders. "We took it for granted that he would 'just say no.'" Phillip agreed.


Phillip: "We took it for granted...that he would say no."

When they confronted Tabby about the catnip usage he flipped. He said the pressures on him were too great to handle on his own and that he needed a little "kick."

Sadly, the kick had become a thrice-daily addiction for Tabby and it turned out his grades were in the toilet too. Tabby lost his scholarship, all club affiliations, his boyfriend, and the respect of his parents.

"I only hope that my experience goes to help other cats learn" says Tabby, who as of press time was at Promises, Malibu Rehabilitation Center (along with Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan)"and I hope they just say no."


Promises, Malibu Center is a substance abuse facility that treats those in need of comprehensive, high quality drug rehabilitation

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

4 comments:

Ghengiskhan122@aol.com said...

its all about the weed, maaaaan!

Anonymous said...

A token of my fandom!

Zooyorker said...

It was the business class that did him in. I'd know.

momcat in LA said...

damn teencats