Tuesday, January 27, 2009

People Just Don't Screw Around On The Internet As Much On Tuesdays



Bothell, WA

A group of graduate student cats from the Department of Sociology at the University of Washington released statistics today showing that people just don't screw around on the internet on Tuesdays as much as they do on other days.

The cats spent the past two weeks on the project, compiling statistics from hundreds of local blogs and websites, comparing the numbers of sites visited each day of the week and on weekends. Also collected were data sets from seventeen large local business offices and the IP addresses of internet sites visited during normal business hours.


Cats spend as many as six hours on the internet at work on Mondays


Data compiled showed the biggest spike of internet surfing on Mondays, a total of almost six hours per day spent surfing the net, up from less than two hours on the day before.

Lennie, a 9-year-old tabby cat grad student from Auburn said that the data has much to tell us. “You can tell that Mondays are the worst for people, they are hungover, tired, or whatever…they spend as much as six hours at work, bored, on the internet searching for stuff.”

“Something strange happens on Tuesdays though.” Said professor John Adams, PhD., “It is almost as if the people are burned out or feel guilty for having wasted so much time the day before,“ he said, “so they decide that this day, this Tuesday of all days, I am going to do some work.” Indeed the graph shows a reduction in the amount of time spend surfing the web by a drastic four hours, spending only less than two hours surfing the web while at work.


Professor Adams said “…not much work is getting done…”

Research showed that after Tuesday, internet traffic does pick back up again as cats’ spirits are possibly lifted with the realization that it is ‘hump day‘, Wednesday, and that the weekend is nearing.

“The traffic picks back up after the lull of Tuesdays as cats get psyched about what to do the coming up weekend and start surfing and emailing other cats.” said Seamus, a 5-year-old, Russian Blue exchange student. “Then the weekend comes and people get out and do things and are pretty much off the net until they go back to work on Monday.”



“There is one thing for certain here,” said professor Adams, “not much work is getting done across the board in the greater Seattle area in homes and in businesses alike due to the popularity of the internet and the LOLcat phenomenon.”

More studies are planned for the future from the Department of Sociology with regard to the waning popularity of eating beef and cheese burritos on Tuesdays.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

5 comments:

dolphin_lover said...

oh snap. i'm CAUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i do it for 7.8 hours on mondays myself and i am the boss so there

Smirking Cat said...

Ahem...time "wasted" on LOL Cats? Surely there is another word for time well spent when the alternative is actual work.

clevercindy said...

A hooman must have made that graph.

Anonymous said...

im gonna up them stats