Saturday, February 14, 2009

“Birth Control Glasses” Effective In Preventing Unwanted Pregnancy, Study Finds


Seattle, WA

In the future, cats who decide they want to have kittens later in life may have an easy option, a removable contraceptive device that stops potential partners from approaching and ultimately stopping pregnancies from occurring.

A recent 2 year study conducted by Planned Parenthood concluded last week has proven the efficacy of the devices preventing unwanted pregnancies.

In the study 100 cats ranging in age from 2 to 9-years-old, were fitted with ugly pairs of thick glasses and sent into bar rooms filled with drunk males.


Layla, a Boeing engineer, said the glasses are the best birth-control device she has ever used

In the bar room-type experiments the unsightly glasses quickly deterred even the most obviously inebriated males from attempting to hustle, grab at, feel up, or mate with the females.

In the two years the cats wore the glasses, none of them became pregnant. Females polled said the main benefit to the glasses is they do not require the removal of the ovaries and involves no pain or daily pills.


Disco said "No one's hit on me yet..."

The ugly glasses are thought to prevent the production of sex hormones by males, and the device is simply taken off when the time for having kittens is right.

The glasses were the idea of one cat, Jasper, a 15-year-old Domestic Short Hair. Jasper is a consulting physician at Planned Parenthood and based the project on his own dating experiences.

Males agreed the glasses are so ugly and off-putting to that an estimated 20,000 unwanted kitten pregnancies are believed to have been avoided.


Boo-Boo said that when his wife Clementine puts the glasses on, he isn’t “…turned on at all”

“I don’t want kittens until I am married.” said Layla, a 3-year-old Domestic Short Hair. “The glasses mean they (males) won’t even come near me, I feel it is the right thing to do. They are the best birth-control device I have ever used.”

The "Birth Control Glasses" have been hailed as a Godsend by many females, who credit the glasses with putting a halt on their previously wild and promiscuous behavior and allowing them to focus on their studies.

The glasses are currently available only in Seattle. Similar in appearance to a set of glasses for humans, they are simply placed upon on the cat’s face to deter would-be suitors.

11 comments:

ShazzynSam said...

My daughter needs these! Are they available in Australia?

GinaGinLA said...

"Kitty City, Number One Reason I Get No Homework Done, Ever."

But hey, I appreciate it! Thanks for the stories you write.

GolfOrDie said...

Glad I stayed up, just saw this on Digg.

KendraNYC said...

Great site, keep posting.

Jack in Arkansas said...

god help me im laffin so hard. i may need chocolate soon. who are you sharyn and where have you been? this world needs youre sense of humor.

eddietsunami said...

Very funny, keep going you hepcat!!

SandraDeenkirkSC said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

My cat is a whore. I need the glasses. She humps the dog!

jimmy and carli said...

Oh my goodness, I just had to comment. I been reading this since you started in November, I gotta hand it to you, YOU ARE SO VERY creative and fun to keep track of. Great site.

I see you now have the domain too. Nice body of work, someone needs you on their team, you are a seriously creative asset.

People pay huge money for creative minds like yours. You are blessed. Good Luck!!!!

kkkkkoolio~~ said...

Seriously, the glasses turn me on!

Jessie G. said...

Hi kitty friend!

Anonymous said...

I love your website. I stumbled upon it after seeing your posts on stuffonmycat website! This is my fav story ive read so far! ^^