Saturday, February 28, 2009

New Caribbean-Themed Spa For Cats Not Working Out As Planned

Seattle, WA

The natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest draws cats to the water's edge in search of the catch of the day. At the new Key West Kitty Water Park & Spa, two freshwater swimming pools are the perfect complement to the open Puget Sound where the park is situated. This new attraction, however, opened last week to some unfortunate reviews.

The Key West Kitty Water Park & Spa opened up for business at water's edge in downtown Seattle, vetted as a high-dollar, Caribbean-themed day spa and resort. Guests are invited to visit the new state-of-the-art 24-hour Dip-In Theater located on the second floor of the Bikini Atoll Plaza. Here, cats can view their favorite water-themed films such as Jaws, Lifeboat, Waterworld, and Titanic, while actually seated cozily in a small boat, bobbing in an enclosed pool, as if you were a survivor in one of the movies.

“It was not quite what I imagined, exactly” said Twinkie

Some of the guests didn’t quite savor the floating Titanic experience as much as the spa’s creator’s had hoped, however. “I was frickin’ terrified!” said Twinkie, a 14-year-old, Domestic Short Hair, female from Marysville. “I got soaked…it was horrid…I was not expecting real water, I was expecting Leo DiCaprio. It was not quite what I imagined, exactly.”

A cat spa is a place for relaxation and personal care treatments, they have become extremely popular over the past few years. There are several types of cat spa, including day spas, overnight spas, and destination spas. This new cat spa is a combination spa with a Caribbean theme.

The large, indoor, heated Outdoor Splash Pond promised cats of all ages the ability to satisfy their sweet tooth by fishing for their own exotic fish with spears or by hand at any hour of their choosing. “I don’t think that I really envisioned having to go into the water to catch the fish somehow.” said Axel, a 9-year-old, Domestic Short Hair Tabby male from Olympia. “I really don’t like the water…at all.”

Axel and other cats failed to understand the concept behind catching fish in the Splash Pond

Cats refused to go near the Catfish Dive Bar where they could drink cocktails and mocktails for free, while seated on plush barstools located just under the water at the sunken bar’s edge. Cats also stayed away from activities like scuba diving, jet-skiing, boating, skinny dipping, crabbing, and the water slide area.

The Key West Kitty Water Park & Spa boasts over 20 different water-themed attractions for cats

Cats were equally horrified at the Grotto Spa and Jacuzzi Center. “I was promised a hot rubdown…at least that is what I thought I was going to get.” said Mabel, a black and white Domestic Short Hair, who declined to give her age, “When they tried to get me into the water, I peed myself.”

Probably the biggest disaster of the spa center is the Lagoon Wave Beach. Cats who were at first lulled out onto the calm appearing sandy beach with their towels and mats, were terrified when huge, tsunami-like mechanically driven waves were cast onto the plastic palm tree laden beach to simulate the real Caribbean ocean.

Mabel admitted “…I peed myself.”

“Seriously, who thought that shit up?” asked one visitor, Loki, a 6-year-old Siamese male, “It should have been called ‘Horror Land’ or something. I want a refund. I had to take a fifteen hour nap to de-stress after I got outta that place.”

The spa also offered waxing, a concept not commonly offered to cats at most spas in this country. A full wax, bikini wax, or simple facial wax can be had free of charge, included in the price of entry. “I can sincerely tell you that the waxing was neither relaxing nor therapeutic.” Said Mango, a 14-year-old, female Himalayan Mix from Everett. “I must have been drunk to have tried that.” Waxing is done at the same time as aromatherapy and thereafter followed by pedicure and manicure if requested.

Mango tried the combination full-body wax and aromatherapy treatment

While all spas may offer the same type of treatment, the Key West Kitty Water Park & Spa offers cats more options for workers looking to relax without leaving the city. It also offers accommodations, so visitors are able to sleep and eat their kibble there. Over the last few years, medical spas have also become popular by offering treatments such as Botox and laser resurfacing. Although these options are not yet available at Key West quite yet.

Look for rates to drop in the near future as more and more negative reviews hit the air. Your best bet? Anywhere else, according to the travel writer at The Kitty City Gazette.

Be on the lookout for cheaper rates in the future

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay


cheezburgerfan said...

My fave so far

Sarah, Seattle said...

This is so damn funny. Holy crap.

Anonymous said...

The poor cats, an adventure for sure. Love the Titanic viewing in boats in the pool thing, that's be fun!

tom and berry said...


jason behr said...

jesus criminy. this is so awesome.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

What were they thinking!?!

Angel said...

THis is so funny! Great pictures of wet cats

Dana said...

Hilarious as always!
~Maggie May~

Karen Jo said...

I do believe that the minds behind this idea for a cat spa don't know anything about cats at all. Hilarious!

Joel said...

OK, that first picture freaked me out. :O Cats don't really like things like that anyways :P