Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sarah Palin Likes Cats. "All Of 'Em, Any Of 'Em..."

Seattle, WA

The former Republican Vice-Presidential nominee is back to her old job in Alaska. She took time out for the Kitty City Gazette to clarify her feelings about cats and an issue important to cats everywhere, involuntary spaying and neutering.

The Alaska Governor, a 44-year-old mother of five, studied journalism and political science at a total of six community colleges before graduating from the University of Idaho. Ms. Palin agreed to the interview in the interest of cats in Alaska and indeed, for the good of cats everywhere. After reading the transcript, domestic short hair Frederico said that he still wasn't sure what the topic of the interview actually was.

Kitty City Gazette reporter Sharyn Thoma-Guay conducted the interview with the Governor this morning. Here is the transcript of that interview.

Guay: Governor Palin, it has been said in the past that you do not actually like cats, that you are actually more of a dog person. How do you respond to those critical of the fact that you do not like cats and do you think that so-called ‘dog and cat people’ can reach a consensus?

Palin: Well, let’s see, thanks, Sharyn, there's ― of course in the great history of America, there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ― I think cats are okay, I mean, they have the fur.

Guay: But Governor, how do you respond to the people who say that you do not like cats?

Palin: Gee, um, I do like them, the cats, I mean, really I don't believe that Americans are going to support this and we will not support this.

Guay: Governor Palin, do you like cats?

Palin: I told the Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere.

Guay: I can appreciate that, but Governor, do you like cats?

Palin: Oh, good, thank you, yes.

Governor Palin said "...I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't."

Guay: What type of cats do you like?

Palin: All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

Guay: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point, can you name me one specific type of cat that you like?

Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you.

Guay: Governor, would you support a moratorium on spaying and neutering to help average American cats keep their private parts?

Palin: That's something that others and I have also been discussing - whether that ... is part of the solution or not. You know, it's going to be a multi-faceted solution that has to be found here.

Guay: So you haven't decided whether you'll support it or not?

Palin: I have not.

Guay: What are the pros and cons of it do you think?

Palin: Oh, well, some decisions that have been made poorly should not be rewarded, of course. They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.

Palin said "I'm a maverick!"

Guay: Okay...But, do you think it is a cat’s right to choose?

Palin: We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.

Guay: Yes, thank you Governor, but again, do you support the cat’s right to choose?

Palin: I agree that a president’s job, when they swear in their oath to uphold our Constitution, their top priority is to defend the United States of America. I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people.

Guay: But Governor, the election is now over and we were speaking of cat reform.

Palin: Oh, good, thank you, yes. Well, I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.

Guay: All right then Governor, I want to thank you for your time and the opportunity to speak with the Kitty City Gazette. It has certainly been a pleasure speaking with you and one that I will not soon forget.

Palin: Ok, uh, I’m a maverick!

After reading the transcript, neutered, Domestic Short Hair cat Frederico said "What The @#%$?"

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay


JamesonJoe said...

she is so fricking stupid! i love it. the comedy about her practically writes itself!

brittasmini said...

I'm sorry, but I loved your David Becks undies story. That made me roar! Cheers!

Rochelle said...

"Of course I love cats. We shoot them as often as we can and have 'em for dinner, with a little moose gravy."