Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Cat Angered By Obama’s Unfulfilled Cheezburger Promise


Seattle, WA

A group of concerned Seattle cats met for a community forum-style debate this evening to discuss the lack of cheezburger assistance from President Obama’s White House.

Obama had previously promised citizens quick cheezburger reform and dispersal via his Cheezburger Stimulus package. But the deal, signed into law this past February (as reported by the Gazette) has cats asking ‘where’s the beef?’

Cats are up in arms over the lack of cheezburgers made available on the open market to cats in need. Billions of cheezburgers have been doled out to financial institutions and even the auto industry in the largest company bailout in worldwide history, but no one single cat has yet to benefit.


Obama worked directly with Cheezburger cat

“It’s all good for the CEOs of companies like Bear Stearns, AIG, and Citigroup. They got billions of cheezburger assistance.” said Freya, a 6-year-old, spayed, Bengal, originally from the U.K., “But what about us folks who are actually being responsible home owners, still paying our mortgages despite the fact we lost our jobs? We are keeping up on payments, but we are too cash poor to do anything else. We need those damn cheezburgers now not later.”

Back on December 27, 2008, then President-Elect Obama outlined a Cheezburger Stimulus package promising a cheezburger to each and every cat in these difficult economic times.

It has now been two months since he became President and not one cat or kitten has seen a cheezburger from the Federal Government.


Freya said “Obama told us the cheezburgers would be ‘this thick’…he lied.”

“They are taking a top-down approach to this cheezburger bailout.“ said Freya, “It just seems to be the case and it is teaching people that it is okay to be irresponsible. How many cheezburgers have they doled out already? No one seems to have an exact number. I heard 3.5 billion and I heard 850 billion. “Obama told us the cheezburgers would be ‘this big’…well, he lied.”

As reported by the Gazette on February 16, 2009, Obama announced an historic plan to sign the Stimulus Package into law with the famed Cheezburger cat by his side. He promised to help provide at least two cheezburgers to a household.


As Freya stated, Obama promised cheezburgers “this thick” to cats on 12/27/08

Mr. Obama had reportedly teared up as he signed the bill into law this past February, saying “I say to you, all of you, again, yes, you can has cheezburger, and indeed, tomorrow we will make it so.”

To date, there have been billions of cheezburgers given away with taxpayer money to companies and banks, but not one cheezburger to the very cats who are footing this expensive bill.

“I am imperfect.” said President Obama recently when questioned about the status of cheezburger assignment. “I said before that this was going to take time…and let me just be clear on this, it will take time for a cheezburger to reach every cat.”

Until that time one thing is clear, millions of cats all across the country are yearning for the cheezburgers they truly need and have worked hard and suffered for.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Cat Photo Courtesy Of: Freya The Cat,

8 comments:

Callie said...

How FUNNY! My friends and I were just about to tweet about the Obama-Cheezburger cat thing. I saw your December story online at work and we passed it along!

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I did notz getz a cheezburgerz neiderz!

dang themz at AIG they got golden cheezburgerz

Freya's Staff said...

Fantastic story as always, and Freya is very honoured to have had her say about the cheeseburger issue too!

PinkynAsh said...

Where's the beef indeed.Nice story

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Yes, where is our cheezeburger?

Mr. Black said...

All politicians are bought and paid for by the cheezburger consortium. Until this mafia-like corrupt framework is dismantled, only elites will get cheezburgers. To believe otherwise is to live in a catnip-induced fantasy land.

Baby Patches said...

He promised cheeseburges how thick?! Freya, is so cute.

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