Sunday, March 29, 2009

Local Cat Harassed By Lawn Ornaments

Palm Desert, CA

A scorching hot, sunny afternoon at the College of the Arts weekly street fair turned violent today after a cat was viciously harassed by two brilliantly-colored yard donkeys.

Snoops, a 5-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair, was standing in line at a booth waiting patiently for a tasty, hot Elephant Ear pastry when he became the latest victim of bullying, a trend sadly growing in recent months.

“I was digging in my pocket for change,” said Snoops (interviewed at his home), a part-time criminal justice major, “There was only one left and the fair was about to close when all of a sudden these two donkeys came at me outta nowhere, man.”

“They called me a pansy” said Snoops

The donkeys, Ramon and Buttercup, both 2-year-old, concrete lawn ornaments, were on probation at the time for alleged vandalism at a local In-N-Out Burger restaurant.

“One of them grabbed my Elephant Ear and the other started chiding me about my nose.” Snoops said in a report to Palm Desert Police. Snoops said he had seen the two earlier in the morning making fun of a young lizard.

“They looked real mean and had lots of tattoos.” Snoops said, “They were gang tattoos, although now that I think about it one of them said ‘I love mom.’” Indeed the two donkeys are active members of the Rancho Mirage Banditos biker gang, known in the area for a series of Del Taco robberies.

The scene at the street fair

The donkeys grabbed the hot, crisp Elephant Ear from Snoops and started harassing him. “They called me a pansy” said Snoops, tearing up at the recollection. “They said my shorts were silly, really silly.” Snoops was reportedly wearing a pretty pair of pink and yellow flowered kulots made by his grandmacat as a birthday gift.

The donkeys smashed the Elephant Ear on the ground and laughed at poor Snoops, sticking huge blue gobs of cotton candy in his hair.
Security was called by a red squirrel eating a waffle cone and quickly arrived by mini-tram.

The two donkeys were processed and brought to the Palm Springs Regional Detention Center to wait until their parents claimed them.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

Cat Photo Courtesy Of: Jake (CatDude5749),


Sandra, UK said...

OH GIRL YOU ARE SOOOOOOO FUNNY. I havent laffed in three days...keep it up.

C said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. Your story is funny! I like your picture!

Anonymous said...

The concrete donkeys...

...I'm so doubled over with laughter...

Best line "they called me a pansy"

Elin! said...


Anonymous said...

Awww...Snoops looks like he went into a corner to lick his wounds. ((Huggs)) to Snoops!

pughy said...

Another beauty.

I look forward to seeing what you are up to next.

Hugs GJ xx

Mr. Black said...

Those donkeys may act all tough, like they're made of concrete, but I bet they're just plaster of paris or resin.

Boy n Beethoven said...

Hahahahah....this is the first time I is visiting you, and you is FUNNY!
I loves your blog!


Catdude5749 said...

People!! Snoops is MY cat!