Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A local cat was rescued from the depths of a cold, plastic garbage can this morning after a Human, thinking she was a dust bunny, mistakenly swept her up and threw her out.
Godzilla, a 10-year-old, beautiful, gray Himalayan female was sleeping on the cool hardwood floors in the entryway of her home when she was captured.
“I remember hearing a funny sort of chittering noise,” said Godzilla, “It was very dark and kind of smelly, then all of a sudden there was daylight and I was looking up into the face of a terrifying and vicious raccoon.”
Godzilla’s Human had mistook the slumbering ball of plush, pretty fur for an unusually large dust bunny. Dust bunnies found in corners, like the area where Godzilla was sleeping, tend to be a bit larger in size.
Jane said she was very shocked to find a whole cat in the garbage can
“I was going to that house like I usually do.” said Jane, a 1-year-old raccoon, “They tend to have donut crumbs in the morning and chili-cheese cornbread, I really like cornbread.” Jane stated that she got in the garbage can as per usual, found a big chunk of tofu and was then surprised to see a cat in the can. “Cats taste pretty good. I couldn‘t figure out at first why they‘d throw it away uneaten.”
“I dropped the tofu cube in surprise.” said Jane, “The cat opened her eyes and freaked.” The cat then screamed loudly, puffed up into an even bigger furball and reportedly “clawed Hell” out of young Jane on her way out of the can.
The garbage can where Godzilla was dumped
“This raccoon was looking at me like it wanted to eat me or something.” said Godzilla, clearly still shaken from the strange rescue. “When I got out of the can the raccoon stared at me and then politely introduced herself. I think I scared her as much as she scared me.”
The two started talking and Jane told Godzilla there had been a good number of dust bunnies, a few pink Marshmallow Peeps, some dirt, and laundry lint in the garbage beside her sleeping body. That is when it became clear that Godzilla had been dumped by accident, having been mistaken for a large dust bunny.
“I was terrified. I was in complete shock. Jane is a very scary looking creature.” said Godzilla, “It’s true that I am no stranger to being thrown out of the house, but it’s just usually for peeing in the bathtub or something a bit more fun.”
Godzilla said she was “scared”
A box of Band-Aids was brought from the house to cover Jane’s 37 scratches. Godzilla was in good condition although a bit fatigued after the incident. In return for saving her from the garbage dump Godzilla invited Jane to dine with her at the local Pine Cone Inn and Bakery.
The Human in question has been forgiven, but must make restitution by means of fresh turkey legs and catnip corncobs. Godzilla said she will seek her own stealthy form of revenge by hiding the Human’s car keys, urinating on freshly pressed dry cleaning, and pushing rented DVDs as far under the couch as she can.
Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Posted by The Kitty City Gazette at 5:21 PM