Thursday, March 26, 2009

Really Big Spider Seen In Local Kitchen

Smokey Point, WA

It was a chilly, cool morning like any other until Barney saw the spider crawling up into the cabinets in his kitchen. Barney, a 10-year-old, neutered, Himalayan, was toasting his morning Pop-Tart when the terror began.

“I got so scared I dropped my mug of hot cocoa.” said Barney, “I had just put the scoop of Marshmallow Fluff in it too, so it was a real shame, and a mess.” Barney said the spider was “really, really, big, and scary.” and he called the fire department immediately for assistance.

“I had never been in that kind of situation before so I really wasn’t sure what to do.” Barney stated that he unplugged the toaster, called 911, put on his tin foil hat, and left the house.

The spider managed to evade investigators and escape

The spider, large, and menacing, was seen crawling up the wall towards the ceiling in an apparent attempt to gain access to the cupboards where Barney stores his prized Spode Blue Room Collection dinner plates.

“I don’t know what it wanted or what it was doing.” he said, “But I can tell you that it meant business. It went straight up behind the cabinet wood and stayed there.”

Fire officials called to scene reportedly found no sign of the terrifying arachnid. They searched the entire house with hoses and bug repellent for approximately two hours to the dismay of neighbors.

Fire Chief Snuggles said the spider “…got away”

“We assured neighbors there was no imminent threat at hand.” said Fire Chief and lead investigator Snuggles, a 15-year-old Domestic Short Hair male. “We are taking the usual precautions, but it looks like this particular spider got away.”

Cats in the neighborhood were warned about the spider’s possible whereabouts and an impromptu neighborhood watch team was put together in just a few hours.

Neighbor cat Spaghetti, a 3-year-old, spayed, Scottish Fold was terrified at the thought of a spider on the loose, especially one so large in size.

Neighbor cat Spaghetti was “horrified”

“I am horrified that something like this could happen in this neighborhood.” said Spaghetti, “I moved here with my family because we thought that kind of thing just didn’t happen here. Now, with the economy the way it is, we will be stuck here under these conditions.”

Small kittens are being kept inside and even young teencats have been put on curfew until the terrorizing spider can be caught and dealt with.

“We will just have to band together and protect our own.” said Barney after his house was cleared by the fire department. “We have good communication in this cul-de-sac. Believe me, that spider will be found.”

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay


Anonymous said...

tanks sharon, i knew i had a reson to stay up this late...

Country Cats said...

Eek spiders! My sister Rosie likes to catch them, though. We hope that menacing creature is brought to justice.

Grumpy Kitty said...

While I understand that we must protect the kittens and leave a good example for them. Did no one think to just EAT the darn thing?

While I understand that humans are a bit peckish when it comes to spiders (my middle-aged male human screams like a 6 year old girl when he sees one), surely somecat could have just eaten it. They are quite tastey, in fact - and one that size would be very juicy.

Gandalf and Grayson said...

Oh noes! We hope that spider does not come here! Our Nana will scream like a banshee!

pughy said...

I wuld love that to come here, what fun to chase and catch that. Oh I can hear the crunch now. Delicious. !!!!!

Elin! said...

My humin sister hate spiders, she is just fainted now seeing the photo, butI like them!

Just want to let u know that our furriend Cal from the Creek Cats went to the bridge just now.. :(

Let us purrs for his family~

The Meezers said...

we wonder how long it would take a spider like that to travel from there to NY?

Jan's Funny Farm said...

And when you find it, we hope you won't export it to another neighborhood. We're all just as afraid of spiders as they are.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Speedy and Sadie, our entomologist team, haf volunteered to hunt and eat dat spider...der experts at it!

Artsy Catsy said...

Yes, thousands of illegal arachnids are entering our premises daily. We must enforce our arachnid immigration laws!


Mr. Black said...

Afraid of a spider? What kind of namby-pamby cats populate this neighborhood? Spiders are cat toys. Nothing more, nothing less. This menacing spider 'mystique' is media hype.