Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Cat Leaves Job in Terror After Viewing Spam Email

Renton, WA

A cat with a ten-year perfect attendance record abruptly quit and left her Renton job yesterday in a fright after being spammed with a copy of the ever-popular “David Copperfield Mind-Reading Email” by a coworker.

Miss Muffet, shown above, is a 15-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair female from North Bend, WA. She told the Gazette that she received the email at approximately 7:34am pacific standard time.

The email, well known to most and often circulated in offices everywhere, is a game that proposes you pick a card and then David Copperfield will make it “magically” disappear, thus he is actually "reading your mind" through the monitor. See the slides below if you are not familiar with it.

The email suggests that if you do not send the email out to your friends within seven days of receiving it, something terrible will happen to you, real bad. Nasty even.

Miss Muffet was horrified by the fact that no matter how many times she tried the card trick, it worked. "I sat at my desk for 45 minutes..." she told the Gazette, “each time I did the trick, it worked. I grew very scared. I just moved here and I had to friend list yet to send it to…I grew wary of my future, I was thawing out chicken for dinner for Cripe's sake!”

Miss Muffet said she first noticed a problem when she got only a few congratulations after her lunch time proposal, for which she was expecting rave reviews. Next, she violently choked on a chicken McNugget while snacking in the afternoon, and in the afternoon she came down with a ripe red rash on her chest, neck and paws.

Miss Muffet left her job behind and ran in fear for her life

Miss Muffet says she had become increasingly aware of the rise of wizardry, magic, and Satanism ever since she first read, then abruptly stopped reading, the Harry Potter children’s books. “They terrified me.” she said. “My next door teencat told me that the Harry Potter books showed her that magic is real, something to learn and be used against others and I see this sort of email trick as something the Ministry of Magic might really do to Mugglecats.”

David Copperfield has nothing sinister whatsoever to do with these emails. The trick is widely known to work simply because the cards in the final slide are all different from the cards shown on the first. There has been no proven link between interoffice spam and curses, satanic rituals, occultism, or wizardry of any sort.

Miss Muffet is seeking professional counseling services to help alleviate her anxieties since receiving the spam and is expected to make a full recovery.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay


Country Cats said...

Feel better soon, Miss Muffet! ;-) Maybe you can get your job back after you're all better.

Angel said...

Those Spam Emails can be frightening!

creeklife said...

Poor Miss Muffet!!

Don't know how you do it Sharyn...... always very entertaining!

Noll's Nip said...

Spam, spam, spam, spam....ah!

Cory said...

Hopefully Miss Muffet's employer has a KAP (Kitty Assistance Program) and she can have a gradual and successful return to work.