Saturday, April 25, 2009

Local Cat Arrested, Said "I Want to Bite Sham-Wow Guy"


Bothell, WA

A local cat known simply as Jethro, seen below in an old mug shot from a previous incident, was arrested today at the local Fred Meyer store for making verbal threats against Sham-Wow guy, a brilliant actor, most commonly seen on late night television infomercials.

"I want to bite Sham-Wow guy." stated Jethro, a 5-year-old, neutered, former Feral, Domestic Short Hair, "I don't know why...I just do!" Jethro was processed into the Lynnwood Police station on two counts of feline conspiracy to commit malicious biting. He was discussing Sham-Wow guy while perusing the produce section of the local Fred Meyer store when a customer overheard, became concerned, and notified authorities.


Jethro seemed otherwise non-threatening

Ms. Bo Peep said that she was sorting through her purse searching for a toilet paper coupon when she noticed Jethro and a few other cats walking by, snickering, and talking loudly.

"I heard him saying specifically that he wanted to bite him, that guy, that...Sham-Wow guy." stated Mrs. Doris Bo Peep, seen in a photo below being interviewed by a police sketch artist.

"I really like Sham-Wow guy and I had to act fast." Mrs. Bo Peep said, "I look forward to seeing him every night on the television." Her intelligent and accurate description of the suspect to police allowed them to quickly corral Jethro and book him into custody.



Jethro had been arrested just one year ago in Fargo, North Dakota on charges of conspiracy to distribute catnip and attempting to bribe a police officer with Fancy Feast.

Lynnwood Police are holding Jethro until his hearing later this week. He was denied bail as he is considered to be a heavy flight risk. Police said that Jethro became hostile as he was taken into custody, reportedly biting one officer and urinating in the squad car.

Sham-Wow guy was not harmed.


Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

8 comments:

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Our mom is with Jethro, effury time she seez da sham wow guy she'd like to bite him...and not in a pleasurable way either.

Noll's Nip said...

LOL!!!

Angel said...

I will defend Jethro! I want to bite him too!

Country Cats said...

He deserves a good bite. Don't worry, he can clean up the wound with a Sham-Wow afterwards.

C said...

Funny! Hmmmm the word verification says funjya???

The Creek Cats said...

You go, Jethro!

We'd really like to sink our teeth into Billy Mays from the OxiClean, OrangeGlo, Mighty Mend It, you name it he endorses it. Someone bite him already!

Cory said...

OMG...there's my kitty sitter!

The Meowers from Missouri said...

re: last line, ". . . was not harmed."

pity, that.