Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lottery Winning Cat Donates Prize To “Unnamed, Secret Charity That Only I Run”


Kalamazoo, MI

In an act of charity, a Kalamazoo area cat who recently won $100,000 in the Michigan Super Balls Lotto game has decided to donate the entire amount to a ‘secret, unnamed charity’ that she is, in fact, the only cat in charge of.

Molly, a 5-year-old Domestic Short Hair, who worked as a cosmetologist before winning the money, once scoffed and told family if she ever won the lottery she would donate it all to charity.

Soon after winning the money on March 17, Molly decided others needed it more than she did. Confronted by her family, she then announced the money in its entirety would be donated to the unnamed secret charity.


The small nail salon where Molly worked before winning the lottery

"I was heavily influenced by my family, who taught me to think of others first,“ said Molly, who despite ‘giving the money up’ has mysteriously quit her job at a local nail salon and reportedly has fresh apple fritters delivered to her door each morning with the milk.

The name and location of the so-called charity are not known and have not been disclosed by Molly. She told reporters that she has been secretly operating the charity at her own expense for years, not wanting to attract attention for her many sacrifices.

Since winning the money last month, Molly has been seen driving a brand-new Cadillac XL-R, and frequently spotted eating only the best cheezburgers money can buy.


Molly has been frequently seen indulging in multiple cheezburgers

“If the (unnamed) charity decided to give me a gift, I cannot exactly say no.” Molly said in a statement released by the Michigan Lottery in response to neighbors and reporters who believe she secretly kept the money for herself, but wanted to appear as a ‘community hero.’

Neighbor cat Halloween, a 15-year-old, Former-Feral Tortoise Shell female, said “Look, it is obvious this is a scam. She suddenly quit her job, hired a full-time massage therapist, and installed a huge koi pond. Who is she kidding?”


Halloween, a lawyer by profession, doubts the legitimacy of the so-called ‘charity’

Halloween said she will not be convinced until tax records are brought forth and offered her services as a tax lawyer free of charge to help Molly clear her name.

“It was the right thing to do,” Molly says of $100,000 donation, “…despite what neighbors or anyone else has to say.” Many others have raised skepticism as well due to the large amount of positive publicity the donation has invited.

“She is the center of attention here.” said Halloween, disgusted. “They gave her a key to the city, a free gym membership for life, and worse yet, they all think she made such a self-sacrifice! The only charity she supported was herself!”

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Photos Courtesy:
(Molly) Beverly Thie of Cincinnati
& Halloween the Cat

12 comments:

Stanwood, WA said...

WHUT A SCAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

very funny.

pughy said...

Once again priceless. Keep them comming.


GJ and Carol x

Anonymous said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I would do the SAME THING!

The Creek Cats said...

Fresh apple fritters delivered to her door each morning....... can't say I blame a girl!

oopies said...

WhAt A ScAmMeR! She is like the Octomom of Catdom.

Beverly Thie said...

Sad to say, Molly really has become quite the diva. Even I, her very own mommy, has to make an appointment to see her. She only sits in the laps of the rich and famous now. sniff, sniff

Thanks, Sharyn, for such a fun use of my Molly's photos.

The Island Cats said...

Something's gotta be done about this!!!

Anonymous said...

This is crazy. I know that cat. I've seen her around. She can't forget her best friend Tiger Marie!!

Beezer said...

Go get 'em Hallowen!
She is a great lawyer, and will get to the bottom of all of this.

Lucy Belle said...

What a luck! Where's mine huh?

crazykittykat1 said...

What are these apple fritter things the Gazette keeps writing about? All us kitties at this house get is kitty food and chickie. Are we missing out on something?

Country Cats said...

Sounds a little bit fishy to us.