Tuesday, April 14, 2009
New York, NY
This past week, on a show known for hard core celebrity name-dropping and back-stabbing galore, a local cat has been fired for being a “smartass.”
Sammy Meezers, a 4-year-old, neutered, Seal Point Siamese, had long dreamed of being one of the Manhattan business elite. When he snagged a chance role to appear as a contestant on Donald Trump’s television show, “The Apprentice,” he was ecstatic.
Sammy joined Dennis Rodman, Clint Black, Annie Duke, and Joan and Melissa Rivers in competing against each other to make successful ad campaigns for a company called LifeLock.
Sammy reportedly quickly grew bored of the show and instead of participating, he sat on contestants’ laps or played solitaire.
The popular show features much drama, many advertisements, and Donald Trump's Hair
“This show is not about business or marketing,” said Sammy, “This is free publicity for LifeLock and for Donald Trump at our expense. This show is one big long commercial being fed into your brain as you watch it.”
“Seriously, if Donald Trump says ‘you’re fired,’ - who cares?” Sammy stated to the Gazette, “He is no longer a huge success himself or he’d never be doing a reality T.V. show. And that hair - I mean what is that? I have hair like that, but not on my head, you know what I'm saying?"
“Sammy said things we all wanted to say,” said Dennis Rodman, a contestant and teammate of Sammy’s, “He has got the guts none of us here have, or else we’d admit that were stupid to be trashing our own good images on this show.”
Sammy reportedly boldly referred to Trump as a ‘failed mogul with very scary hair'
Sammy was fired after repeatedly being told once again to stop playing solitaire and help the team come up with ideas for the LifeLock pamphlet. Instead, he purred, curled up on Clint Black’s lap and fell asleep.
Donald Trump and his Hair fired young Sammy last Sunday, after Sammy refused to finish the LifeLock pamphlet. Mr. Trump said, “That cat is gutsy, and I respect that, but there is a fine line between gutsy and smartass, and Sammy is a smartass. I told him, ‘you’re fired.’”
Sammy shook off the firing in front of a television audience of millions of viewers and was seen entering Clint’s trailer later on that evening.
Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Cat Photo Courtesy: Sammy Meezers
Posted by The Kitty City Gazette at 6:47 PM