Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Angelina Jolie’s Cat Plans Tell-All Book After Brad Pitt Dumps Him At Local Shelter


Los Angeles, CA

Angelina Jolie’s Oscar nomination for Best Actress in the movie, “The Changeling” has been clouded over ewcwntly by news that her former live-in cat of over 12 years, Paz is planning to write a tell-all book about her and her partner Brad Pitt.

Paz, a 12-year-old, neutered, Bengal male was adopted by Ms. Jolie from a shelter in Cambodia in 1997. Paz was the center of Ms. Jolie’s life and had a lucrative modeling career, until she fell madly in love with Mr. Pitt.


Paz said Mr. Pitt "...hated cat hair."

Paz, despite the competition, headed up the Jolie-Pitt's pet and child collection and even traveled with the couple when they went into hiding in Namibia before the birth of daughter Shiloh in 2006.

According to Paz, Mr. Pitt had grown increasingly jealous of the attention Ms. Jolie lavished on him over the years and wanted him gone. "I was always in her lap..." Paz told the Gazette, "...Brad couldn't stand it. He hated cat hair."


Paz, once the apple of Ms. Jolie's eye

Sure enough, in late December, Paz found himself abandoned by Mr. Pitt after Paz bit his thumb by accident while playing with a laser light, drawing blood, and ire.

The book Paz plans to pen threatens to outline the exact nature of the relationship Ms. Jolie had with Mr. Pitt while Mr. Pitt was still seemingly happy and very married to Jennifer Aniston.


A photo from the set of the film where they "fell in love," Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Mr. Pitt had recently attempted to clear up rumors of his pre-separation cheating with Ms. Jolie in an interview coming after Jolie had revealed to The New York Times that the couple met and fall in love on the set of the action film Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Mr. Pitt was married to Ms. Aniston during the filming of said movie. In the interview, Mr. Pitt adamantly insisted that there was no "dastardly affair.”

Paz plans to divulge plenty of other sordid details, including intimations that Angelina has had multiple affairs with other cats, both male and female, since the start of the relationship.


Ms. Jolie used to manage Paz's lucrative modeling career

Sources claim the actress is seeking legal counsel to block her former cat’s expose, which will also expose intimate details of her wild marriage to Billy Bob Thornton, the collecting of children, and chicken sacrifice rituals.

A publishing insider told the Gazette that Paz knows everything about Angelina, having sat on her lap for such a long time, and that it's going to be one of the most explosive books written.

Paz never signed any confidentiality agreement and could be in the green when it comes to revealing all about the famous Hollywood couple.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay

6 comments:

CCL Wendy said...

Wow! Paz sure has lots to tell! How exciting. A kitty insider who knows all the dirt to dish.

Great article and beautiful cat!

The Meezers said...

oh we can't wait for this book!

Reese =^..^= said...

Is the book available for pre-order? This book will be a page turner.

Angel said...

I'll bet Paz can tell a lot!

Country Cats said...

We can hardly wait for the book to come out!

The Creek Cats said...

We smell a best-seller!!!