Saturday, June 6, 2009

Eating Disorder Leads To Prompt Incarceration For Local Cat

Edmonds, WA

One local cat was promptly escorted out of the Alderwood Loews Cinema 12-plex in Lynnwood this afternoon after spending half the movie eating one of the chairs.

The cat, Lady Gaga, a 2-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair, has a long history of eating problems and has been arrested four times in the past year for the indecent eating of inanimate objects.

Lady Gaga had been receiving outpatient treatment for what doctors can only describe as ‘somewhat of a cross between pica and an eating disorder not otherwise specified.’

The Center in Edmonds offers cats confidential, 24-hour, expert care

Her momcat reports that since her birth, Lady Gaga has been persistently eating nonnutritive substances. This is normally very indicative of pica. However, with cases of pica the disorder usually lasts for a period of several months and then stops.

According to reports, just last week she ate an entire Audi R8 Matchbox car. "Well, at least she has good taste," said her momcat.

Doctors believe Lady Gaga has more of a cross between disorders, as she shows some symptoms seen in anorexia and bulimia cases.

“She ate her Green Goblin action figure one time,” said momcat Wilma, a 12-year-old, spayed, Tortoise Shell, “She starved herself, then ate the whole action figure. It was terribly disturbing when it came back out.”

Other cats in the theatre were not aware of the chair-eating incident

Indeed, one of the diagnostic criteria for bulimia nervosa is the repeated episodes of binge eating such as she displayed at the cinema this afternoon. Police and Lady Gaga’s momcat decided that it was time to give inpatient care a try.

Reports state she ate half the fabric off the seat, almost all of the foam cushion, and was gnawing of the plastic armrest when security guards arrived and carried her off, screaming. Her popcorn and Goobers were untouched.

Witnesses said they were not aware of the chair-eating and no other objects were eaten to their knowledge.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Photos - Random


Anonymous said...

Pica! Wow, that's funny. I have not heard of that since college days.


Cory said...

Her popcorn and goobers were untouched? Now that is sick.

NY, NY said...

That photo at the top os really funny. Eating disorder, that chair, I can almost see it.

Angel and Kirby said...

Eating disorder! Maybe that is what Kirby has. He eats anything!