Thursday, June 18, 2009

Gay Sailor Cat Kicked Out Of U.S. Naval Academy


Alexandria, VA

A promising young Naval Academy freshman has been ousted from the school he grew up longing to go to after being seen stripping in a Gay Pride Parade. The 12th Annual Kitty Gay Pride Parade was held without fail this past Sunday, but for Emmett, it meant the end of a lifelong dream. A local cat saw the Academy student there and viciously “outed” him to the Dean of Students.

“I grew up knowing I wanted to be a sailor.” said Emmett, a 4-year-old, neutered, Scottish Fold male from Richmond, Virginia. “I know you are thinking it was the cute outfits, but really, it was the events of September 11th, 2001 that made me want to serve my country.”

Emmett grew up like any other cat, but realized in high school that he was a bit different from other male teencats. “I didn’t care so much about catching rats and stuff…” Emmett said, “I was more into letting kids dress me up in clothes and combing my hair and stuff.”


Dad George, said he had “not one, but two reasons to be proud” of Emmett

Emmett’s parents were proud of him scholastically as he maintained a 3.8 GPA at the local high school. Emmett reportedly told his parents he was gay upon his seventeenth birthday. “They knew.” he said, “It was all the pink nail polish they found in my drawers. That and the Oprah magazines.”

Despite opposition from career counselors and mockery from other students, Emmett was determined to get in at the United States Naval Academy. “He was a shoo-in for the Academy.” said Emmett’s father George, a 15-year-old Scottish Fold originally from Ohio.

“I knew it was going to be a bit risky for him…the way he was, but I told other cats that my son’s being gay and wanting to serve gave me not one, but two reasons to be proud of him. He is a brave boy.” Emmett was accepted without delay due to his outstanding academic performance.


Emmett’s parents said as child, they knew Emmett was “special”

Momcat Lucy is very upset with the school’s ruling but regrets that her son chose to strip in public. “I am not sure why he would do such a thing, knowing what he could lose. He is a very good boy usually. Even as a child, we always knew that Emmett was special.”

“I never really had any kind of backup plan.” said Emmett, who reports to the school tomorrow morning to clean out his dormitory and turn in his uniforms.

“I just wanted to be a good Navy boy. I guess I could go to art school or something…I dunno," he said.


Momcat Lucy said Emmett is "...a very good boy."

Emmett has appealed the dismissal with the U.S.N.A. Board of Admissions, but said he is doubtful he will ever get an audience. The Academy is not known for its kind treatment of anyone considered to be “different.”

Emmett hopes that others can learn from his experience and not make the same mistake he did by stripping down to his skivvies like a madman in his spare time. “I should have been studying.” he said.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma

9 comments:

Ken Tayle, Canberra said...

All that is missing here are hidden watermelons! LMAOFFFFFF!

Noll's Nip said...

Oh Emmett, ahoy....how sweet you looked in your sailor suit :)

Robyn and HotMBC aka The Hotties said...

Yoo could join that singin group where yoo dress up as a sailor. Not da same, but still.

Angel and Kirby said...

He should have remembered, Don't ask, Don't tell!

Tuck said...

Emmett, I think you were treated unfairly. I am sure you made a fine sailor!

EUTERPE said...

Hi Everyone,

Has anyone else seen the picture on icanhascheezburger put up a few days ago. I could believe it two cats & watermelon.

Kitty city addicted said...

Oh my gosh, watermelons and cats! Seriously though everywhere I go now I see this humor, kitty city humor, right?

1. Grocery cart on ground is now a sad, dead one who claimed it's own life!!! That one story she did

2. Every melon I see, all I can do is think. , 'oh it's totally obscene!'

3. Omg the apple fritters or ketchup packets!!! Kitty city you started something fun-neh!!!!!

kkkkkoolio~~ said...

Oh girl, I can't go 1 single day without you, um I mean the Kitty City!!!! LOL.

Figure.10 said...

Aww..poor little gay cat. How sad.