Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Two Bob's Big Boys Sought In Local Home Invasion

Mountlake Terrace, WA

The terror of home invasion struck a Mountlake Terrace cat (seen above in photo) today when she opened her door and was suddenly accosted by two Bob’s Big Boys.

Crisco, a 14-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair, was at home alone watching a virtual aquarium DVD and eating apple fritters with Cheese Whiz when the doorbell chimed.

“I opened the door and these dapper, snappily-dressed, young men were standing there, just smiling at me,” said Crisco. “Then one of them shoved a cheezburger in my face and pushed the door open. That was when Crisco knew she was a victim of home invasion.

Crisco escaped the horrifying assault unharmed

Police say the frightening thing about any home invasion is that it is often motivated by a variety of criminal malicious intentions. Usually the intention is robbery or theft.

It is very common for invaders to suddenly pull a weapon and burglarize you on the spot after impersonating a repairman, a pizza delivery boy, traveling salesman, or in this case, a Bob’s Big Boy.

“The Big Boys came in and put me in the bathroom and barricaded the door,” Crisco reported to local police, “I was terrified, I’d left a whole dozen apple fritters on the counter, still in their pink box, and I was afraid those boys would take them.”

In the worst case scenario, the intention of a home invasion is anal rape, kidnapping, torture or worse.

Crisco said the Big Boys ‘knew what they were looking for’

The Big Boys, according to witnesses, were approximately 6-7-years-old, a half foot tall, and appeared to have slits on the back of their heads, as if they were to be used as savings banks.

The Big Boys kept Crisco in the closet and stole $6.00 worth of fresh, apple fritters and 52 rolls of toilet paper before leaving the home and escaping through the garden.

Witnesses saw the Big Boys fleeing the home and called Mountlake Terrace police to the scene, where Crisco was found unharmed, having peed in the sink.

Toilet paper was the prize the Big Boys sought

“Those Big Boys, they knew what they were looking for,” said Crisco. “They headed straight for the upstairs bathroom. I could hear them rifling around under the sink stealing all my toilet paper. Shame on them.”

Exact statistics about the number of home invasions involving toilet paper theft that take place every year are not available. However, it is reported every year that this type of robbery accounts for 15% of incidents of theft occurring in the United States.

Crisco was consoled by neighbors, but could not seem to over the fact the Big Boys had stolen her fritters, too.

“Stealing the fritters was just a cruel afterthought,” she said. “How can someone be so cruel?”

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Photos by Sharyn


Tuck said...

You can trust those Big Boys. They just look sneaky. And to steal somecat's apple fritters? What is this world coming to?

Sweet Praline said...

Please feel free to use my picture today for an upcoming story.

Sweet Praline

pughy said...

I second Sweet Prailine, its so good to have laughs. You sure give us that. Keep going.

Hugs GJ x

Cory said...

I 3rd Praline's comment. You can use our pictures anytime for your stories! We would espcially love a laugh at our drama queen sister Ginger's expense! (don't tell anyone I said that...)

xoxo Cory

ML said...

These stories are always so good, it's fun to come and read them.
Good job, I don't trust those little Big Boys either. Never liked the looks of 'em. And taking all the apple fritters. What a pair of jerks.

Noll's Nip said...

One Bob's Big Boy would be enough to scare me....but TWO? That brave kitty ;)

Ken in WA said...

please publish this stuff

Angel and Kirby said...

Apple Fritters! the nerve of those Big Boys!