Thursday, June 11, 2009

Two Cats Dead After Witnessing Obama's 'Hotness' In Green Bay


Green Bay, WI

Two cats lost lives and ten cats are in critical condition after coming face to face with His Hotness, president Barack Obama just this morning.

In a town hall format, Obama, the hottest man to ever occupy the White House, discussed health care in this first exchange with the public on health care since he was inaugurated six months ago.

The president had long before decided to include the general public in this, the first of many such public meetings to come.


Ginger was one of today’s fatalities

Local cats and selected guests were lined up at the red carpet of Green Bay Southwest High School to meet and greet president Obama as he arrived.

"Oh my god, he is so hot!" screeched Ginger, a 5-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair, who then melted into a puddle and disappeared from sight.

"I touched his garment," said Raspberry, a 3-year-old, Former Feral, Persian. "I will never wash this paw again."


Seen here in Hawaii, Obama is lusted after by many cats

So many female cats and kittens clamored for Obama's attention that he had to interrupt his speech three times to calm the mayhem.

"I watched my wife right next to me," said witness Einstein, a 4-year-old Domestic Short Hair. "She was insane crazy and drooling for him. She has pictures of him on our bathroom wall...it's just not right. "

Einstein said his wife 'lost it' and screamed out to Obama 'take your shirt off honey!' before collapsing into a furry hot mess.


Einstein sadly lost his wife at today's event

"He's got this like, 'Medusa-lust' effect on women" said a White House staffer who refused to be named. "Everywhere we go, we are cleaning up bodies afterwards."

Many females in the audience screamed for cheezburgers, and begged him to take his blue tie off and throw it to the throbbing, swelling crowd.

"I heard someone say 'come here, I got dollar bills for ya.'" Einstein said.

By the time the speech ended, two cats had lost their lives and ten others were treated for various forms of heat exhaustion.

No word on whether next month's proposed Cheezburger Stimulus meeting will be open to the public.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma-Guay
Cat Photo: Riley the Cat as Ginger
Other Photos Random

4 comments:

The kitties over at Our family cat-a-log said...

You are so BAD! I just ♥ your imagination...or...is it your imagination...or real life☺

Cory said...

Well, he does make all of us girl kitties purr!

pughy said...

LOL What a post today. I agree your imagination ust be in overdrive all the time. LOL

HUGS GJ xx

Noll's Nip said...

Oh my Obama!!! Ha ha...great reporting ;)