Friday, June 12, 2009

Unemployed Cats Flock To Apply For Dishwashing Jobs


Everett, Wa

In this crumbling economy, where things seem to be going from bad to worse, a silver lining came out today as Taco Bell announced job openings for 5 new dishwashing positions.

“I have been sitting around the house for months,” said Caspian, a 9-year-old, neutered, Siamese Mix. "I was a sheet metal worker, but I got laid off."

“When I drove by the Taco Bell today I nearly crashed my car, it was a sign from Heaven. I went right in and applied,” Caspian said. “I have always wanted to be a dishwasher.”


Caspian felt the Taco Bell sign was ‘a sign from Heaven’

According to the Washington State Unemployment Security Department, there are over 8,000 unemployed cats currently receiving unemployment checks and those numbers are only expected to rise.

“Dishwashing jobs are now considered ‘in-demand’ positions,” said regional co-manager Gephard, a 9-year-old, neutered Russian Blue. “Dishwashing is right up there with accounting as one of the up-and-coming careers.”

“I know one guy who was a doctor,” said Strabismus, a 4-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair. “He gave it all up, just to be a dishwasher. I just hope I am up to the task.”


Strabismus said he feels somehow qualified for the difficult task

Despite the intricate difficulties of the job’s position, it seems many cats are willing to overlook the challenges to becoming a dishwasher for the sake of securing a secure future.

Among the qualifications Taco Bell is looking for are the ability to read menus, be able to stand, walk, reach, bend, stoop, and wipe.

“The only bad thing is that we are not supposed to lick the plates,” said Tubby, a 4-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair. “If they catch you doing it…you’re gone.”


Cats rushed to the Everett Taco Bell to apply for the positions

Taco Bell also stipulated that it is an extremely difficult job, and other duties include washing plates, glassware, silverware, pots, pans, and kitchen utensils according to sanitation and cleaning procedures.

“It’s pretty easy to do,” said Everett Taco Bell manager Leo, a 5-year-old Manx. “Any little shit can do it.”

Regardless of how difficult the challenges are, many cats are uplifted today, having applied themselves toward a new goal in life and a new career opportunity at long last.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Photos: Random and Crazy

4 comments:

Mike in SEA said...

You kill me girl, kill me. You made me pee my pants a little here.

jimmy and carli said...

Oh silly girl, your mind is amazing. So crazy creative!

Cory said...

Sorry, I don't get it...if I can't lick the plates, I don't want the job. I'm going to look for a plate licking dish washing gig at KFC...

Anonymous said...

Hey skinny minnie,

I saw you in person at Trader Joes yesterday- just wanted to anonymouse-ly say your hot and your stuffs funny,,I'm the blond guy who tried to help you carry a loaf of bread to your car for you!