Sunday, November 15, 2009

Disturbed, Naked Possum Charged After Hijacking Bus Full Of Cats


Edmonds, WA

An hysterical, naked possum commandeered a school bus full of young cats Saturday in Edmonds, police said. The possum drove the bus for less than a mile before a cat confronted him and the bus crashed into a barrier on the side of the road, according to witnesses.

The incident started Saturday afternoon when the bus stopped to let cats out after attending a local high school basketball game.

Witnesses say Wonka, a 3-year-old, Virginia Opossum and known peanut butter addict, waddled towards the bus and pushing the old bus driver aside, maneuvered himself right into the driver’s seat.

Students said Wonka took control of the bus and took off at a high rate of speed laughing maniacally the entire time.


Jacob said the possum’s tail “…freaked us out”

While the bus was still moving, the possum abandoned the steering wheel and walked toward the back of the bus with his hands raised and exposed his genitals, police said.

Witness Jacob, a 2-year-old, Domestic Short Hair, said, "some of us were trying to jump and claw at (the possum), but his creepy pink tail really freaked us out.”

One young, athletic cat jumped over the seats towards the steering wheel and grabbed it, straightening out the path of the bus, which would have crashed. The bus then careened wildly out of control until it left the roadway and smashed into a roadside barrier.


Even 8 hours after the crash the embarrassed possum continued to play dead

Students said when the bus smacked into the barrier the possum suddenly played dead, hitting the deck in one fell swoop and started to ‘stink like a wicked bad fart.’

The cats then fled the bus, many using the back door emergency exit, where witnesses subdued them until police arrived. All were in satisfactory condition at press time.

Bingo, a 3-year-old, Domestic Short Hair, told KING-5 News that the possum had at one point tried to “pet her” and her friend, a 2-year-old, Domestic Short Hair named Dante, who will be seen and examined by Child Protective Services.


Bingo said the possum tried to “pet her” and her friend

"He showed us his privates,” said one cat who did not want to give her name. “He showed them and then saw we were not impressed…I think he was embarrassed and then the bus crashed and he collapsed.”

As is well-known, possums, when threatened or harmed, will mimic the appearance and smell of a dead animal. They bear their teeth, saliva foams around their mouths, and a foul-smelling fluid is secreted from their anal glands.

Sadly for social climate of all possums, the physiological response is involuntary, rather than a conscious act. “It’s sad, you know, I used to hang out with a possum friend,” said one cat. “But that whole involuntary fart thing, any time he got excited over anything he’d clear the room. It was no fun after that.”

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Jacob Photo Thanks To: coryphoto
Awesome Possum Copyright Paul Wood
Others: Random

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

it's insanity!

the whole reason i come here

thanks so much im laughing hard!

jimmy and carli said...

NUTS NUTS NUTS. Go Kitty City! Can't wait for the first BOOK!

Princess and the Meow Kitties said...

This story is hysterical! Although princess, my cat, was horrified by the grisly details! I had to fix her a cuppa catnip tea, to calm her nerves.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Khwite a few of my Sibe pals have been terrorised by those khritters recently...

This SOOOO made me laugh!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Jeff said...

creepy pink tail really freaks me out too!

Ginger Jasper said...

Thank you for the fabulous laugh before work... HUgs GJ and Carol x

Freya's Staff said...

I just knew that possum would try and play dead to get away with it!

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

O god o god o god! Exposed possum parts? I can't stand it!

Anonymous said...

You are so funny. I love that he was embarrassed after showing his parts, poor thing! Such a travesty. Good reporting.

Ok, back to work.

Erin Deighan said...

I've composed myself enough now to say - hysterical. :) Thanks for the laugh!

Glogirly and Katie said...

Possom privates...I love it.
Sounds like the possum was experiencing a little 'shrinkage.' And I don't mean laundry.

kittens for sale said...

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Rochelle said...

Your brain should be studied for the advacement of science! LOL.