Friday, November 6, 2009
Hundreds of Smurfs are scared and homeless today after local and state authorities declared their homes "unsafe" and forced them to evacuate their entire neighborhood.
Police officers responding to a non-related incident arrived at a local Smurf neighborhood and discovered homes riddled with a “black, sticky, toxic, stinky, mold,” which was going apparently unnoticed by the Smurfs, authorities stated.
The Smurfs, who have been living for over 40 years inside mushrooms and other places where molds and fungi converge, said they were “unaware” of the dangers of such “toxic mold.”
Thorntown Librarian Tober was quick to pick up the phone and offer to help the displaced Smurfs
A Thorntown Fire and Rescue Service spokesperson said the area was cordoned off because of the possibility the mold might become airborne and spread to the homes of cats living nearby.
Relief agencies contacted by the refugee Smurfs all put them on hold, saying they had neither the funds nor the time to help relocate them. Thorntown police officers reportedly even laughed at the sad, blue people. Their calls to churches also went unanswered.
Luckily, one cat at the local library managed to rally dozens of others and help evacuate an area around 5 square feet in Thorntown, concerned the Smurfs’ heath was being compromised.
Papa Smurf said he feared leaving his home would only open it up for possible looting and burglarizing
“I realized I am very lucky,” said Tober, a 4-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair who is currently Head Librarian at the Thorntown Public Library. “I had just bought a 3-bedroom home just outside of town…I called around and opened it up to (the Smurfs).”
Other cats quickly joined Tober’s example and gathered to help the displaced and now homeless Smurfs, over 200 in number. Determined to help Smurf families devastated by the mold, one local cat called every Indiana Smurf shelter in the phone book.
Tober, who had indeed just purchased a new home, promptly bought 12 evacuated Smurf families home with him and set up apartments for them in his spare bedrooms.
Friends said Tober was “relentless” in his efforts to help the Smurfs, angered at the failure of local government to help them
But don't try to tell Tober how generous he is. 'This isn't amazing, or heroic,“ he said. “You shouldn’t have to thank me. This is America and this is what we as Americans are supposed to do.”
“These Smurfs were looking at futures of living in shelters with no food, shoes, or apple fritters,“ Tober continued. “These Smurfs lost their homes right here in our country. It is our duty to help them. That is what 'We the People' is all about.”
The Internal Revenue Service is working to provide appropriate relief and assistance to the displaced Smurfs. If you are a Smurf victim of this toxic mold outbreak and need help with tax matters please contact the IRS.
Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Tober Photos: Thanks so much to Christine Sterle (and the REAL Tober) and her dedicated employees at the Thorntown Public Library
Mushroom Photo: By me!
Papa Smurf: Courtesy of himself
Posted by The Kitty City Gazette at 4:49 PM