Friday, January 22, 2010

Diving Cat Attacked By LEGO Shark Bravely Cheated Death


Edmonds, WA

A local cat practicing his skills at the Edmonds Underwater Diving Park today was viciously attacked by a 3-inch plastic, Great White LEGO Shark and airlifted to the hospital with torso and thigh injuries.

The LEGO shark also bit a Mexican tourist on the ankle last Monday while the man stood in chest-deep water at the same park, police said. This latest attack is the second LEGO shark attack in the state in a week.

Ramses, a 9-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair, was rushed to Harborview Hospital in Seattle, where he is currently in serious condition and lucky to be alive, a hospital spokeswoman said.


This calm Edmonds beach was the site of the vicious LEGO attack

“It is a confirmed LEGO attack,” Edmonds Police said. “Someone else in the water with Ramses saw LEGOs in the area.” One witness claimed the shark measured at least 40 feet long, which rescuers were not able to confirm.

Experts believe the LEGO sharks are moving closer to shore due to overcrowding and increasingly poor conditions within the LEGO Pirate environment they originated in. Interviewed for the Gazette, the shark did not comment.

“It is a sad thing for them (the LEGO sharks),” said ex-LEGO Pirate Black Bart, a spokesperson for the Save the LEGO Sharks Coalition. “Last time I was there conditions were poor. Many of these sharks cannot read or write, and are not allowed to borrow their parents’ cars.”


In an exclusive interview, ex-Pirate Black Bart said he’d “give his right arm to help…”

Bart said economic conditions for the Pirates have worsened over the last 12-months and sadly, there are sharks out there with no fresh water to drink, and no access to medical care.

“I'd give my right arm to be able to help the poor things,” said Bart. “But unfortunately, I already gave one.” Bart lost his left arm attempting to feed a bowl of porridge to a malnourished young LEGO shark back in 2007.

Paramedics confirmed Ramses' wounds were consistent with a LEGO shark bite. The gashes were one inch in diameter and clearly showed evidence of their plastic articulated LEGO jaw.


Sadly, abuse from by Pirates like these is driving more and more angry sharks to shore

“We are out there right now letting people know, notifying people on the beach about what happened,” Police said. The underwater diving center has since been closed down due the attacks until LEGO Pirates can be reached for comment.

“People don’t realize these sharks are living in Third World conditions,” Bart said. “People call them beasts, but there are thousands of (sharks) suffering from Pirate abuse and neglect.”

State officials closed all the beaches from Bremerton to Mukilteo, until representatives from the State Police can contact LEGO Pirates. Police added that various cats had been inexplicitly attacked with plastic cannonballs on the beach in the past.


Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Ramses Photo: He was my 2nd cat!
LEGO Interview: Me
Others: Random

5 comments:

jimmy and carli said...

HAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAH

OMG ROFLMAOOOOOOOO

Black Bart, the ex-Pirate for Shark AWARENESS!

Kellen Corbin said...

There's no place like this on the entire web. You're so goddanged funny I'm serious! Just friended you on Facebook. Omg.

Something totally original!! At last!!!

You're brilliant. I can't get enough Kitty City.

Kevin J. said...

you so crazy!

please go to LA, LENO AND CONAN need writers!

Harry Spotter said...

Love the picture. Poor kitty! have a great weekend!

Ginger Jasper said...

Absolutely priceless.. Your imagination is the best ever.. Carol and GJ x