Thursday, February 25, 2010

Easter Bunny Car Accident Involved Malted Milk Eggs, Police Say

Lynnwood, WA

Lynnwood police are investigating a two-car crash that involved a local cat and the Easter Bunny, who police say was under the influence of malted milk eggs at the time.

Reports state the Easter Bunny was stopped at a stop sign on 181st Street, signaling a left-hand turn onto 64th Avenue. Witnesses said his Giant Egg Car suddenly “lurched forward, slamming into an oncoming BMW.”

The driver of the BMW, a 3-year-old, neutered, Blue Cream Scottish Fold named Fritz, was flown to Harborview Hospital and is in satisfactory condition.

“I can’t believe the Easter Bunny does drugs” said Fritz

The Easter Bunny, who was in town doing Easter-prep work, had a small laceration on one ear, but declined a medical examination and denied being under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Officers searched the Easter Bunny but did not find anything on him. They later searched his Giant Egg Car after being given permission.

He was later arrested when police found a music CD with lines of finely cut malted milk powder, a razor blade, a rolled up dollar bill, and a bag of malted milk eggs in a Wal-Mart bag on the passenger seat of the car.

“This is a sad day for the children…” said a Lynwood police officer, “…they look up to him”

“He’d definitely been snorting them,” an officer said. “He was walking around in a panic, sweaty, his eyes were pin points…and he was talking non-stop.”

Sadly, the Easter Bunny was arrested last year in March after being caught snorting lines of malted milk eggs in a bathroom stall at a Fred Meyer photoshoot. He was released and given 2 years probation. No word yet on what charges this arrest will bring or how it will affect Easter.

Driving under the influence of malted milk eggs is a serious crime in Washington State. According to the Revised Code of Washington Section 46.61.502*, driving under the influence is when "a person is guilty of driving a motor vehicle on a road while under the influence of malted milk eggs, candy coated or otherwise."

Damage to young Fritz's new vehicle was extensive

A new addendum to the law passed last year makes it also illegal to drive under the influence of Marshmallow Peeps, solid milk chocolate rabbits (hollow or otherwise), and Cadbury Crème Eggs.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Egg Crack Photo By Me!
Fritz Photo: Thanks to jackie


Kevin J. said...

You are so many kinds of crazy. I knew I was still up this late for a reason. NYC loves you!!!!!!!!!!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I say marshmallow peeps; Mom says khadbury eggs!


Elaine said...

Not sure I will eat Malted Milk Balls ever again !!! Keep the stories coming.........

jimmy and carli said...

ha ha ha ha. i always wanted to try dat!

kkkkkoolio~~ said...

LOOK AT THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Angel and Kirby said...

YOu have to watch those malted milk balls!

invisiliz said...

Does that mean I have to be concerned that "the Man" is going to raid my home and find my stash? I mean, I've got malted milk eggs (colored AND white) and four kinds of Peeps - but I'm not an addict. Really. I'm not an addict. I can control myself. I can. RealllyIcan, I candoit IcanIlovethemsomuchlovethem WHERE ARE MY PEEPS??!!!!

Twinkietinydog said...

Tell me about it. I was named after "The Twinkie Defense"!

Noll's Nip said...

I'd better hide my malted milk eggs from that rascally rabbit!

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is LuAnn and I'm a malted milk egg addict...they say that is the first step!