Tuesday, March 23, 2010

City Reaches $10 Million Settlement Over Strip Searches

Seattle, WA

For the third time in a decade, the City of Seattle has agreed to pay millions of dollars to settle a lawsuit stemming from the illegal strip searches of thousands of non-violent cats.

The settlement, which was announced on Monday, provides $10 million to the roughly 100,000 cats who were stripped naked by police officers and never given a tip.

In 2003, the city settled a similar case filed on behalf of more than 500 cats who had their clothing removed by police without a tip as they waited for coffee, stood in lines at the post office, and worked on their cars.

Females who were stripped usually offer lap dances, one police officer said

In Washington, tipping is expected whenever any type of stripping occurs. The victims say the amount of tip that is given should directly correspond with performance.

“I was strip searched by a cop once while buying donuts,” said Marley, a 4-year-old, spayed Domestic Short Hair. “The cop seemed to be satisfied, but even after I gave him a lap dance he never gave me a dime.”

Marley said the officer did not tip him, but left with one of his apple fritters.

119 additional claimants are still awaiting decisions from the court

“It’s unjust, I agree,” said one police insider who admitted he never tips. “Some will stay as long as there's money, but often we get called to a scene and have to leave quickly.”

In 2006, the city again agreed to pay several million dollars, this time to settle the claims of thousands of cats who were strip searched and felt up in at least four Papa Murphy’s pizza stores, including one in Queen Anne, between 1999 and 2002.

It is commonly known and a courtesy to those stripped that a bigger tip will always lead to better service. Researchers say that is why a second lap dance is much better than the first after a solid tip.

“…Sometimes we get called away to a scene and have to leave quickly,” said one officer

Females who were stripped usually offer lap dances, police said. The settlement covers 119 additional claimants who said they had gone so far as to offer pole dances, and still not received a tip.

The lead lawyer for the plaintiffs claimed it has been a settled law since 1976 that it is unconstitutional to not tip after any strip search, regardless of who performs the search.

Copyright The Kitty City Gazette


Anonymous said...

The last time I was stripped by a cop he ated my corndog.

EUTERPE said...

The police sniffer dogs are worse, they always go for the crotch without asking!!!

Astrid said...

"it is unconstitutional to not tip after any strip search"... that's beyond hilarious!!!! OMG!!! I'm laughing my socks off!!!...

Ginger Jasper said...

One of the best yet.. I loved it.. HUgs GJ x

Rene said...

The photos are so great--lap dances and pole dances, haaaaaaaa! funny stuff.