Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Jilted Cat Admits To Returning DVDs Late


Lynnwood, WA

A once-prominent local cat has finally admitted his part in the late rental return of two DVD movies to the Lynnwood area Blockbuster video last June.

The cat, Maltball, a 9-year-old, neutered, American Tabby Mix, said he did it out of “personal enmity” for an employee and did not act alone.

Police said Maltball might have hired accomplice, Cheerio Wallace, a 4-year-old, Chocolate-Point Siamese, who acted as a lookout. Both have confessed to their part in the act and are in custody.


These DVDs were almost 3 days overdue at the time they were returned

The incident shocked friends and neighbors of the cats, who stated that Maltball had always been prompt, reliable, and could “always be counted on to return stuff on time.”

The late rental return of the movies “Predator” and “The Hunted” was carried out in broad daylight in the parking lot of the popular video store.

Investigators who re-created the crime scene state Cheerio drove into the parking lot. Maltball jumped out and scanned the parking lot for employees. He then reportedly ducked down under the windows and maliciously slid the late DVDs into the “Quick Drop” slot to avoid entering the store and being embarrassed.


Police said Maltball used the “Quick Drop” location on the left of the store, where view is obscured

The DVDs were over 3 days old and a pending total late fee of 19.98 would have been due. Lawyers for Maltball would only state it was “…an unconscious act, and a regrettable one.”

Maltball, a former University of Washington student pled guilty today to two counts of Late DVD Return, a Class B Felony in Snohomish County.

Maltball revealed the reason for late returns, saying his romantic advances toward a pretty, young, checkout clerk had been rejected and he was "...Too embarrassed to ever go back."



Of the crime Maltball said only “I am guilty…”


Prosecutors described in detail a heartbroken Maltball, who had had fallen in love with (the unnamed clerk), only to be rebuffed when she told him she was in love with someone she met playing World of Warcraft online.

Previously, authorities had been tight-lipped about what led to the late returns.

Maltball, who faces up to life in prison, did not say at the plea hearing why he returned the DVDs some 3 days late rather than on time.

"I am guilty," Maltball said, his hands shackled to a chain encircling his tail. He later admitted to having called the store to speak to the clerk some 52 times after first renting the DVDs.

Copyright The Kitty City Gazette

5 comments:

The Meezers or Billy said...

FREE MEATBALL!! FREE MEATBALL!!!!

CatLadyDiary.com said...

Love is pain and punishment enough...Free Meatball!

Anonymous said...

Your stories are so great !!!!! What an imagination, keep them coming......

Keiko (from Kitty Trio) said...

Awww! Poor Maltball!!! Please free him!

Anonymous said...

And people wonder why Netflix is taking over.

KatFud