Tuesday, July 27, 2010

LOLdogs Not Funny, LOLcats Say



Seattle, WA

A poll conducted by a group of independent LOLcats purports to claim LOLdogs are not funny.

The cats spent the past 4 weeks beating people up and forcing them to vote the way they wanted them to. They compiled their data and the results were exactly as they had hypothesized.

LOLcats are any variety of an image or meme of a cat with text superimposed on the photo to make a statement, joke, or observation as the cat might “think it.”


The LOLcat above, is clearly hilarious, but not if a dog does it

LOLcats were first drawn by paleolithic hunters who painted images of Ceiling Cat and others in caves, a sort of prehistoric chat room, some 15-19,000 years ago.

Most of the major LOLcat memes were painted using mineral pigments, although some were etched into stone. Many images are too faint to discern, while others have deteriorated.

LOLdog detractors who claim the LOLcat language is primitive are clearly not aware of new evidence pointing to the Indo-European origin of LOLspeak.


Jaundice argued it was basically a civil rights issue to have LOLdogs, since LOLcats had become so popular

There is now evidence Gaius Julius Caesar himself in 55 BCE typed a "Youz tuz, Brute?" status update on his Facebook page just after Brutus fragged him.

Some say LOLcats have gotten out of hand, but they also have given rise to the LOLdog phenomenon.

“LOLdogs are just a fad that caught on because dog people were jealous," said Jaundice, an 8-year-old spayed Domestic Short Hair. "But it just doesn’t carry over well. It’s just not funny. LOLdogs are not funny," she stated.


Peter said “there is no humor in being stupid"

Indeed, when beaten, gagged, tied up and forced to look at side-by-side comparisons of LOLcats and LOLdogs, most agree LOLdogs are not funny.

“We have to just be honest with each other. Dogs are stupid,” said Peter, a 5-year-old neutered Russian Blue from Seattle. "There is no humor in being stupid," he said.

Until the dispute is settled, LOLdogs will still claim LOL rights and argue about who came first on the LOL scene. Luckily, there is a plethora of well documented evidence, both fossil and in written historical records, favoring the solid historical pre-presence of the LOLcat.

Copyright The Kitty City Gazette

3 comments:

Astrid said...

"paleolithic hunters"... who would've thought!!
ha ha ha ha... great article:D

Anonymous said...

I liked:

"There is now evidence Gaius Julius Caesar himself in 55 BCE typed a "Youz tuz, Brute?" status update on his Facebook page just after Brutus fragged him."

serious omg funneh

EUTERPE said...

And it was Descartes that said "I cat, therefore I iz"