Sunday, October 24, 2010

Working, Jobs, Linked To Depression, Study Finds


Seattle, WA

A new study out of the University of Washington suggests cats and other animals who spend time working or studying run the risk of developing depression.

Since the 1990s working at a job whether hourly or salaried has been identified as a major predictor of future depression.

Having a job has been linked with relationship problems, health problems, aggressive behavior, peanut butter addiction and other psychiatric symptoms, they said.


A psychotic break forced Ling Mao to take a disability leave after just two hours of data entry work

"Given the results obtained from the study, even mentally healthy young kittens may succumb to depression after just a few hours of work,” said Oliver Roundbottom, a 6-year-old, neutered Domestic Short Hair who pioneered the project.

Subjects who performed light office work and made color copies cried on average 59% more often than subjects who were at home asleep.

Billy, a 2-year-old Vampire Bat said he experienced post-traumatic stress symptoms after using white-out to make corrections for his boss.

Two cats and one Pug in a focus group experienced devastating mental breakdowns after a lunch meeting ran late by just ten minutes. “The mental health consequences of working are devastating," said Roundbottom.


Billie said he “still cries” every time he imagines using white-out

At the start of the study researchers classified 0.2% of the participants as being depressed and 2.9% as seriously at risk.

After a 4-hour work shift, participants were re-assessed for depression and anxiety. Researchers found 88% had symptoms of anxiety and 97% had become depressed, itchy and confessed to suicidal ideation.

The conclusive findings support the previous long held belief that cats and other animals should not work, study or try to concentrate.


Roundbottom said the consequences of working are "devastating"

Researchers state the results of any type of labor, whether real or imagined, may result in the manifestation of insidious, debilitating psychological disorders.

Those subjected to work were given psychological counseling after the conclusion of the study and given recommendations to gamble, binge-eat and view hard-core pornography to treat their depression.

Copyright The Kitty City Gazette
This article is dedicated to Miss Kellie Kat Thompson, a most beautiful and cherished being

3 comments:

Jaycee and Banjo said...

FRIGGING LOLOLOLOL

Any type of labor, WHETHER REAL OR IMAGINED"

HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Rochelle said...

You're a very sick person!! :-)

Oskar said...

Oh my...BOL!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar