Sunday, December 6, 2009

Wal-Mart Parking Lot Home To Grocery Cart Double Homicide

Sequim, WA

The bodies of two dead shopping carts were discovered early this morning in a Wal-Mart parking lot by a cat early for her shift.

Area residents converging on the shopping mecca found the parking lot taped off and CSI investigators taking pictures and searching trash bins for clues.

Police have identified the victims as Philip and Bud, both 3-year-old, Stainless Steel and Plastic Shopping Carts who had just been hired for the holiday season.

The cat who found the slain carts said she prayed for their families

Bud’s sister, a 2-year-old, Orange, Recycled Plastic and Metal Shopping cart who works for Home Depot, said she became concerned when the boys failed to return home for dinner and alerted authorities, police said.

Both carts were found lying face up, flat on their backs, execution style. Each cart was missing a wheel and metal brake pieces, which police said is clearly consistent with defense wounds.

Police stated they have other evidence that leads them to believe both victims knew their killer. They are investigating the crime as a double homicide.

Those who knew the carts said they really “pulled their weight” at the store and were dependable

Both Shopping Carts were recent Sequim High School graduates working the holiday season as temporary employees trying to save money for metal shop classes.

Officials said the employee who found them shortly after 5 a.m. called 911 immediately. Paramedics and police responded, but the paramedics quickly left the scene after attempting to revive the carts.

Several neighbors living in apartments bordering the Wal-Mart were questioned about what had happened, and many said they had seen the two Shopping Carts racing around the parking lot that night “doing wheelies and racing around.”

Neighbor Mabel is believed to be one of the last to see the boys alive

“I yelled out my window to them to stop all that tomfoolery,” said Mabel Black, a 16-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair who lives in a nearby retirement apartment with her pet chickens. “They just laughed and squeeled their brakes at me.”

Other neighbors and employees were concerned about whether the victims knew the killer or if it was a random attack.

Police said they are actively looking for suspects. A police expert went on the record as saying they could use the public's help solving the case, "so we can solve it," he said.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Cart Photo: By Sharyn Thoma
Others: Random

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Chiropractic Convention Shut Down After Laser Light Makes Concentration Impossible

Edmonds, WA

The 25th Annual Meeting of the Associated and Accredited Chiropractors of Washington was halted and dismissed this afternoon after cats became too enamored by the use of a laser pointer used during the presentation.

The group of cat professionals meet annually to discuss quality of care issues and ideas for patient improvement at this highly regarded symposium which usually draws over 250 cats.

Presenters said everything was going “just fine” with the Power Point presentation until one of them whipped out a red LED laser pointer to highlight a particularly important HIPPA (Health Information Privacy and Protection Act) regulation and suddenly there was mayhem.

“The cats just…turned on us” one organizer said

“We turned (the laser light) on and suddenly everyone dropped their papers and just started chasing it,” said Dr. Will Pepperoni, a 12-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair who has run the meeting for the past five years.

After controlling the sudden outburst, Dr. Pepperoni said he “didn’t really think much of it,” and put the pointer away, going back to his presentation.

Moments later after forgetting what had happened, he reportedly pulled the laser pointer out again and used it to underline a well-known muscle group on an anatomy chart.

“Ha ha ha, it was so awesome” said one participant

“One cat freaked! He jumped straight up and over three tables to try and get it,” said one participant. “He just about had it and then the laser turned off, he was so close!”

Reports indicate some cats chewed holes in the desktops, one ended up suspended upside down, hanging from the ceiling, and three cats crashed into the presentation wall trying to chase the laser and were taken to Stevens Hospital for their injuries.

“Every time they pointed it at a wall there was an accident,” said Debbie, a 9-year-old Domestic Short Hair chiropractor from Spokane. “It just wasn‘t safe, I tried to stay away from (the laser light) but I ate my way through a door just to get a good look at it.”

Debbie excitedly ate her way through this solid wood door just to get a glimpse of the rapidly moving beam

Overall, participants said after seeing the laser light appear, then disappear, then appear, then disappear again, they could only sit, black-eyed in a fit of sweat-ridden anxiety, just in case it appeared one more time.

The meeting was dismissed after it became obvious concentration was impossible. It will be rescheduled at a later date.

Copyright Sharyn Thoma
Photos: Thanks to Janice