Saturday, May 8, 2010

Suspicious Looking Cooler Was Hiding Diet Cokes, Fruit, Feds Say

Edmonds, WA

Streets in downtown Edmonds were closed off late Thursday afternoon after a local cat reported a suspicious-looking package “loitering” at the Quick Stop 24-hour market.

F.B.I. agents closed the Quick Mart, which re-opened about 5 hours later. Agents at the scene called the suspect, a 2-year-old, white, 50-quart Igloo Cube Cooler named Jake, “a possible threat.”

The suspect was found to have been hiding some 24 cans of Caffeine Free Diet Coke, a container of sliced fruit, 2 apple fritters, and was said to have been searching for even more drinks to chill before being caught.

Crunk saw the suspicious cooler and alerted authorities

“I tried to get him to talk, to ask what he was doing there,” said witness Crunk, a 9-year-old, neutered Domestic Short Hair, of the suspect he later reported. “He just wouldn’t open up,” he stated.

The cooler is currently being held in the Federal Detention Center in Seattle.

Documents show Jake is originally from Canada, where he previously lived in a Wal-Mart store with a group of some 50 other Coolers, and is in the country illegally.

Jake will spend at least 14 weeks behind bars and must pay a $25,000 fine for unlawful possession of apple fritters before being deported to Canada when he is released, Feds said.

Jake was arrested after a cat saw him loitering outside a local Quick Stop

Jake’s girlfriend, also a white, 50-quart Igloo Cube Cooler , said he is “innocent of any wrongdoing.“ She stated he was simply stocking up on refreshments for a camping trip.

In a case just last week, authorities said a 20-quart Coleman Cooler named Rafeek, who is originally from Iowa, left 14 ham and cheese sandwiches inside himself and sat inside a hot car for 4 days, causing quite an odor, which led to his capture.

Feds acknowledged after the ham and cheese incident that food terrorists have targeted Edmonds and that all cats need to be proactive and report all suspicious activities.

Copyright The Kitty City Gazette
Igloo Photo By Me


Ginger Jasper said...

Brilliant.. Your talant is brilliant.. Hugs GJ xx

Cat Mandu said...

We need more cats like Crunk!

Carolina Cats said...

We live in Norf Carolina, are we safe from the food terrerists?

Finny & Buddy