FDA Says Do Not Exceed 25 Mini Chips Ahoy Cookies In Four Hours

Seattle, WA

The FDA is warning cats everywhere to limit the amount of Mini Chips Ahoy cookies consumed within a four-hour period.

In a warning letter sent to the office of Public Health today, the FDA notes Mini Chips Ahoy cookies are being abused at a much higher rate than ever anticipated.

Cats everywhere already know well the lure of the deadly cookies. “It starts with just one and then before you know it you are on the scale regretting it and begging God for help,” said Riley, a 1-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair Ginger.

The FDA also takes issue with a Chips Ahoy web site mentioned on the nutrition label that uses language supporting increased libido and good looks from eating the cookies.


The FDA is imposing a 150-per-day upper limit

The FDA says information collected over the past five years has shown a dramatic increase in the amount of ER admissions due to Mini Chips Ahoy cookie overdose second only to that of peanut butter abuse, and apple fritter binges.

“We never anticipated anything like this,” claimed FDA public spokesman Jerry Servine, “It seems that no one cat is able to stop at the normal serving suggestion printed clearly on the bag’s nutrition label. There is an upper limit in terms of dosing with these cookies and the FDA has now set it to 150 in one 24-hour period.”

As evidence for putting a limit on the amount of cookies to be eaten, the FDA points to the ambiguous language on cookies’ label that includes this statement: "Put a little sexy in your snack life with Mini Chips Ahoy cookies!”


YoYo is a recovering snickerdoodle addict who used cookies to get off peanut butter

“That makes it look like the more cookies you eat, the more fun you will have,” said YoYo, a 9-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair. “I couldn’t get enough of them, they are so good. I began selling everything I had on craigslist just to get money to buy more.”

The FDA does allow a health claims linking soluble fiber from whole-grain cookies with a higher rate of fun.

But according to the FDA, the Mini Chips Ahoy label also inappropriately suggests that because they are small, you can eat more.

“I realize that they (the FDA) are just looking out for us as consumers here,” said Marmot, a 9-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair. “But this is going to just make them more difficult to get. A black market will rise.”


Marmot predicts the rise of a ‘black market’ for cookies

In response to the FDA’s placement of an upper limit on the cookies, the makers of Chips Ahoy have posted a notice on their website.

Chips Ahoy stated that "Chips Ahoy’s increased fun and excitement health claim has been FDA-approved for more than 15 years, and Chips Ahoy’s ‘These cookies can make you sexy in just in 6 weeks' message has been featured on the box for more than two years and we have yet to find any one cat who has eaten a Chips Ahoy cookie and not been satisfied.

The company who makes the cookies simply says it looks forward to discussing and resolving this dosing matter with the FDA.

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large