Thursday, September 3, 2009

Cat Who Lost Cookie Now Torn Apart With Grief

Seattle, WA

Tragedy can sometimes bring a husband and wife closer together, but when it comes to the loss of a really good chocolate chip cookie, sometimes there is nothing left to be saved.

Last February, Jacob, an 8-year-old, neutered, Siamese Mix and his domestic partner Ollie, a 7-year-old, Domestic Long Hair, were strolling down Broadway hand in hand when the unthinkable happened.

Jacob was eating a chocolate chip cookie from the QFC bakery when he stumbled and dropped the cookie down a flight of stairs, killing it.

The site of the horrid tragedy, on Broadway in Seattle

“It was so sad,” said partner Ollie. “It was no longer edible. It had lint and dirt on it and was all crumbled up. Eventually it just crawled down into the street drain and died.”

Ever since the tragic loss of his cookie, Jacob’s overwhelming grief has driven him into a deep, dark seclusion that continues even seven months later.

Friends say that the couple used to go everywhere together and do many activities. Since the loss of the cookie, insiders say their relationship is quickly falling apart.

“You never see them together anymore,” said an inside source close to the couple. “Sometimes grief can unite a couple, but Jacob just locked himself away in his bedroom and cried all day.”

Ollie hopes only for a swift recovery for Jacob

The cookie, who was only a few hours old when it died, was said to be made from all natural ingredients, pure cane sugar, and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

While Jacob is away grieving, Ollie is numbing himself, spending countless hours playing Xbox.

“I rely on my very strong faith and Christian beliefs,” said Ollie. “I know Jake is heartbroken over this cookie, but I am hoping he will pull out of it soon.”

Friends say that the once extremely close-knit couple seem to be drifting apart since the tragedy and could be heading for a split.

The cookie sadly, never had a chance at life

“Every once in a while Jacob will leave his home,” said an insider. “I have seen him at the local Safeway, looking at other cookies through the glass. It is sad. He is so devastated by the loss (of the cookie) that it has consumed him.”

Friends and family have suggested that it might be the time for Jacob to get himself another cookie, but Ollie fears it still may be too soon to tell Jacob that sometimes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

“Jacob is struggling,” Ollie said. “One day soon I hope he will be ready for another. But for now we ask just that friends and family continue to support him through our difficult time.”

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large
Featuring Kellie Kat as Jacob
The chocolate chip cookie pictured was not harmed during the process of writing this story.


The Great Catsby said...

OH SHI@@@@!!!! "...dropped the cookie down a flight of stairs, killing it."


Anonymous said...

oh man oh man oh man. Day I Got Cookie! NOT.

funny as always omg.

FSW said...

"The chocolate chip cookie pictured was not harmed during the process of writing this story. "

But while relaxing with a glass of milk afterwards . . .

jimmy and carli said...

I have learned to not be eating when I read Kitty City, it's so funny I nearly choke to death!

Another classic one for certain!

Angel, Kirby and Max said...

Dang, Now I want to bake cookies.

kkkkkoolio~~ said...

You are the best

Elin said...

Heyya Sharyn ;)

Maggie May said...

This was awesome, as usual!!

Anonymous said...

Very, very funny -- I don't know where you get these ideas - so creative!

♥Da fambly kitties♥ said...

I wish you were my neighbor!

Anonymous said...

"no cookies were harmed..." LOLOL!!!

Rochelle said...

I wet my pants reading the one about the cat who farted. Sharyn is one brilliant writer.

Rochelle said...

Looks to me more like a shower stall drain. I think this story is phony. :) The NYTimes would have error-checked it.

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