Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Cat Attacked By ‘Ugly, Little, Plastic Man’ In Stable Condition

Port Townsend, WA

Police officers are searching for a 5-year-old, male, 12” G.I. Joe Action Figure involved in an attack on a local cat Tuesday night.

A cat living in the Front Street area on the east side of Port Townsend was viciously attacked in his home by the Action Figure while attempting to get a snack from the pantry, according to reports.

The victim, an 8-year-old, neutered, Domestic Short Hair named Reddington True, is currently undergoing treatment for his injuries at Olympic Memorial Hospital. His injuries are not considered life-threatening.

According to police documents, Reddington was in his room watching “Grey’s Anatomy” when he became hungry and decided to get some Cheez-Its.

This G.I. Joe Action Figure was euthanized last week for attacking and fatally injuring a local cat

When Reddington went downstairs to check out the pantry, he was confronted by a small, angry, little man wielding a plastic sword and wearing a World War II-era outfit.

“He looked like he might have been a veteran of foreign war,” Reddington said, referring to the clothing the Action Figure was wearing that night. “Maybe he is suffering from post-traumatic shock. Or maybe he was just hungry.”

Reddington was stabbed repeatedly by the enraged little man, who even threw a tiny plastic grenade, which failed to explode. Reddington managed get past him and conceal himself in a box of Lionel trains, after which he said, “…the little man ran away.”

Reddington eluded the attacker by disguising himself as a model train

After a neighbor alerted police, officers set a trap for the Action Figure at the home and patrolled the neighborhood. Police Chief Adrian, a 10-year-old Domestic Short Hair said, “If captured, the Action Figure will be euthanized for the attack, regardless of whether or not he is a veteran.”

It was not clear how the Action Figure got into the house and Port Townsend Police officers waited to talk to Reddington to obtain more details.

The Clallam County Humane Society said they have sadly euthanized more than 11 assorted Action Figures in the Port Angeles to Sequim area for this type of violent attack and has relocated 22 other action figures so far this season.

A tired, hungry Reddington wrestled the Action Figure and ‘slammed him down’

"I wrestled it, grabbed his sword, picked him up over my head and slammed him down on the steps,” Reddington stated. “He tried his little plastic pistol, but it didn’t work.” He said the rogue Action Figure bit and stabbed him at least 60 times on his arms, hands, legs, and paws, but still didn’t quit.

"Then he jumped at me. I caught him in mid-air, punched him a few times, and again slammed him down on the ground," said Reddington. “He must have been a Marine action figure because he was gung-ho all right.”

Luckily, Reddington is expected to make a full recovery. Police are still combing the area for the Action Figure in question.

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large
Redding ton & Action Figure Photo: Thanks to Sara Polley
Grumman (as Reddington) In Train Box: Thanks to Forrest Scott Wood


Anonymous said...

MOL!!! Gotta watch out for men smaller than you are!

jimmy and carli said...

Hey!!! You didn't tell us you were in the real newspaper! I found this link at the Seattle Times...

Way to go! You made the news!


Angel, Kirby and Max said...

disguising himself as a model train! That is so funny. I almost did not see him in the train set!

xbxbear said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rene said...

This has to be one of my favorite stories written yet. It seems to have been written for me. My husband collects action figures and model trains, and we have cats!

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