Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Chicken Found Near Dumpster Was Murdered, Say Police

Edmonds, WA

The remains of a dead chicken have been found near a dumpster off Highway 99, Edmonds Police said.

Authorities first believed the victim jumped from the side of the dumpster in an apparent suicide attempt, but further investigation revealed multiple stab wounds and a missing leg.

CSI units stated the victim, whose name has not yet been released, was stabbed repeatedly in the breast and thighs with a plastic knife and fork late Monday night in the parking lot of an Albertson’s store.

One of the witness who found the remains also saw a fork nearby

The Chicken, a 3-hour-old Lemon Pepper Flavored Pre-Cooked Deli Chicken had been staying at the Albertson’s Deli with friends before she disappeared.

A witness found the chicken’s body laying prone on the pavement, a fork and unopened packet of ground pepper by her side and called police about 6:30 p.m.

EMTs at the scene tried to resuscitate the chicken and apply BBQ sauce, but it was too late.

The victim was found stabbed near this dumpster

“It smelled really good,” said Alec, a 9-year-old, neutered Domestic Short Hair. “I know it’s sad, but it made me hungry.”

Police cordoned off the area surrounding the dumpster for further investigation. “It’s not a pleasant thing to deal with for everyone involved,” police said.

Since the Albertson‘s Deli began serving hot, ready-to-eat Chicken some years ago, more than 2,000 Chickens have lost their lives, causing the area near the deli to sometimes be locally referred to as “Suicide Ridge.”

"It smelled so good" stated a witness

In 2002, the store underwent a $10-million renovation that included the installation of a multi-Chicken rotisserie oven and two new hot deli counters.

No further details were available at press time.

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large


Erica Vojnich said...

Look suspicious if you ask me! Great reporting!

Astrid said...

geee... now I'm gonna have to buy bbq chicken for dinner:P

Pugs More Likely To Plead Guilty To Crimes They Didn't Commit

Sequim, WA Pugs are more likely to plead guilty to crimes they did not commit because they are really dumb and thus less able to make matu...