Local Kitten Survives Seven Days Off Crap Stuck In Master's Keyboard

Sequim, WA

There was only one thing that General's owners forgot to do the night before they left on their Niagara Falls honeymoon vacation, get someone to feed the kitten.

Just the week before, General, a 10-week-year-old Domestic Short Hair male, originally from Arlington, had been told that his owners were going on a trip. The couple, Lisa and Jeff Nightly, had been recently married and were to visit Niagara Falls for six days and seven nights at the ultra-luxurious Falls Motel.

Only hours after the couple embarked on their journey, General grew hungry and strolled to his leopard-print ceramic bowls laid out in the kitchen, only to find them glaringly empty.

“At first I thought it must be a mistake,” said General with tears in his eyes as he remembered the ordeal, “I figured someone must be going to come over and feed me later.”


Lisa and Jeff Nightly were celebrating their recent marriage and forgot about poor General

General went to the couch and curled up to take a nap and await the arrival of his dinner. That dinner never came. Two days later General was desperate, having only had toilet water since his owners’ departure, he knew he would starve if he didn’t find food.

“The pantry and everything were all closed up…” he recalled. “…I was terrified and desperate.” General said that he went over to Jeff’s computer to see if the power was on, thinking he could possibly order a pizza online for delivery.

“They had turned the computer off, everything was powered down and I had no phone number to call them at.” General said. It was then that he noticed a bit of what appeared to be a Dorito crumb near the numbers lock key on Jeff’s Hewlett-Packard computer.


The keyboard, chock full of mold and food tidbits, sustained young General until his owners’ return one week later

“I inched it out with my paw and ate it.” General said, “It was then that I remembered all the hours Jeff sat at that damn thing looking up stock quotes and porn, all the while eating stuff.” Indeed the keyboard was fuzzy with white mold from all the food that Jeff had dropped on it while surfing the web, but it turned out to come in quite handy.

General told the Gazette that there was so much crap stuck in the keyboard that he was able to feed himself and prevent starving until his owners return the following week. “At one point I found a bit of rice, some pretzel crumb, salt, smears of chocolate, dried barbeque sauce, and cookie crumbs.” General said that he tore off a few of the keys to get to some of the food residue but when Jeff and Lisa came home, they didn’t care.


General has gained weight and strength since their return and is now very healthy

“When they came home and saw me looking so tiny and weak, they cried for hours.” he recalled, “Now I am treated very well because of their sharp sense of guilt about the whole thing. They really did completely forget me.”

General’s owners have since purchased an automatic feeder for the kitchen to ensure that General will not run out of food again, barring any vacations.

“I am just glad to be alive.” General stated.

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large