Two Catnip Mice Honored On Memorial Day

Edmonds, WA

Over 500 Humans, mice, and cats gathered at the Edmonds Marina yesterday for a stunningly beautiful memorial service to honor two catnip mice who gave their lives for the benefit of others.

The mice, originally purchased at Petsmart, were less than 1-year-old, made from recycled materials, and were sold in a package of three. Two of the three mice bravely passed away during an intense catnip massacre just one month ago.

Witnesses at the scene said a Human had opened a fresh package of soft, felt mice and ‘dropped them onto the floor’ of a playroom in a local animal shelter (which refused to be named).


Gigli was one of the cats who participated in the attack

“All I can remember is I became quite aggressive and felt very light-headed, said Gigli, a 5-year-old, grey and white, neutered, Domestic Short Hair. “There were nine other cats there in that room that day and once the scent of catnip got into the air…it was mayhem.”

It was reported that some of the cats had begun to rub their heads and body against the mice and even foamed at the mouth. Only the purple mouse, named Lotus, survived and is currently being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder.

Rolling around on the ground and emitting loud purrs and growls was also reported.


The mice all enlisted together at the same recruiting station

Witness Grover, a 4-year-old, neutered, American Tabby said, “The cats (involved) looked like they were completely out of it and were leaping around and even becoming aggressive towards other fellow cats. Those mice never had a chance."

During the somber ceremony at the marina, American and military flags were raised and saluted. Family members of the fallen mice spoke out and gave their love and support to the community at large. Fresh corn on the cob was grilled and beers were thrown back while fond, pleasant memories were told.

“These were fine young mice,” said Lt. Colonel Stewart, a 6-year-old Former Feral, Scottish Fold male, “They gave their lives doing what they loved. When they signed on to become catnip mice they knew the risks and bravely accepted them. They are my heroes.”


Grover is said to be still mourning the deaths of the mice

According to military documents, it was decided the mice bravely perished doing what they were intended to do and stated they died ‘in the line of fire.' The deaths were not homicidal. Indeed, the motto of the United States Catnip Mouse Army is ‘ut ceteri ludant,’ or, ‘so others may play.’

Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large