Thursday, October 7, 2010
Toilet Paper Tastes Bad, Cats Say
Local cats gathered in a town hall-styled forum Monday night to debate the merits of eating toilet paper.
Seventeen cats in all, ranging in age from 1 to 14 years of age met in the local library to discuss outcomes and long term expectations.
"Toilet paper tastes bad," said Muggles, a 4-year-old, spayed Domestic Short Hair. "Really bad, but for some odd reason, I still try a bit off every new roll."
"I think toilet paper tastes bad" said Muggles
Cats noted no matter what was eaten with the toilet paper, it still tasted awful. One cat stated toilet paper was problematic when caught in the teeth.
Quilted toilet paper was deemed the easiest to rip apart and chew. Double-strength rolls were decidedly much harder to shred. Single-ply, cheap toilet paper was declared the easiest to rip the shit out of and create the biggest mess with.
Different colors, prints, and textures were discussed at length over beer and fritters, but the result was quite often the same.
Paco has heard that colored toilet paper tastes really bad, too
Older cats recalled days of eating colored toilet paper, but with similar results.
"Colored toilet paper was a sort of fad of the late 70's and early 80's" said Paco, a 6-year-old, spayed, Domestic Short Hair, "I never saw any in my day, but I have heard rumor that it tasted nasty."
"We really aren't sure why Humans put it there," said Panda, a 7-year-old former-Feral male. "It simply infuriates them. I believe this is why we do not quit doing it. It is interesting that humans react to us eating it. It is fun to make a real mess and then see them forced to clean it up"
Toilet paper tastes pretty bad
Eating of paper towels and bath towels was discussed, as well as the taste of dryer sheets, lint, socks, underwear, and t-shirts.
The discussion group will meet again, if needed, to discuss the merits of further toilet paper sampling studies or to propose mandate on effective toilet paper controlling and collecting.
Sharyn Thoma-Guay reporter-at-large
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